December 7 2011

Crystal Palace

Amid the euphoria of our Carling Cup win at Old Trafford, some poor performances give cause for concern, says Jamesey.

Things are going from one extreme to the other for Crystal Palace Football Club at the moment although the one consistent factor is our relentless descent down the Championship league table since we were third only a few weeks ago.

Well, I suppose if you look at the bookmakers' summer odds, things have to be an improvement on being seen as sure-fire candidates for relegation.

Although the turf accountants are right most of the time or they wouldn't be doing such good business in relieving the sad-looking people who haunt betting shops of their cash. But they got it very wrong for the Man U Carling Cup clash and anyone brave (or insane) enough to place a large sum on a Palace victory, at unbelievable odds, could well be on their way to Barbados by now to live a life of ease and luxury.

Anyhow, unless we carry on not scoring many goals, giving away 8-second strikes, conceding OGs and tugging down players in the box, we should really finish comfortably in the middle of the table which is a great improvement on scrabbling about to avoid the drop as in the previous two seasons.

I would still love to know where we found those superb footballing impersonators in yellow who led Man U such a merry dance and outplayed them for much of the time (Nov 30).

They had certainly vanished to be replaced by our usual players by the time Derby County ran onto the Selhurst pitch on a Friday evening (Dec 2).

The odds would certainly have pointed to a Palace victory judging by the Rams' previous form but a sparse official gate of 14,338 were treated to a lacklustre showing from the Eagles.

After a famous and superb victory, you do sometimes get a backlash and the lash certainly came back with a vengeance on Friday night and a 1-1 draw was the result. All-in-all, it was a tedious and uninspiring affair.

Our following fixture, which we lost 2-1, was at Barnsley on a Tuesday night (Dec 6) and any heroic soul who went up to Yorkshire for that one has my enduring and sincere admiration. I am writing to the Awards Commission to suggest a new award for services to winter football support called the OFA (Order of the Freezing Arse). A medal for every one of the gallant Barnsley few.

Do you think the Queen might be sympathetic?

Finally, I apologise for not providing a rib-tickling pantomime or spoof movie for the festive season this year.

Despite our current bad run, we are now governed by a consortium of sensible businessmen who most of the time do the right thing, don't get into convoluted arguments with agents, journalists, other club chairmen, etc, and keep their egos under strict control.

In every respect but one, I was delighted to see the back of Simon Jordan.

In his decade of chairmanship, unintentionally he created many hilarious scenarios and even though he took us to the brink of disaster he was an invaluable source of material for comic and satirical writing.

For that, I miss him deeply.

Email Jamesey with your comments to jevans3704@aol.com

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