August 17 2007

Selhurst Park

In the wake of Roy Keane's outspoken criticism of the influence of Wives and Girlfriends on players' careers, Jamesey reveals some of the shocking facts on a few of Palace's past signings.

Attilio Lombardo was considering ending a distinguished career in Italy and coming to play in the English Premiership for some fat pay-cheques. Why did he come to south London?

Mrs Anna Lombardo didn't want him hanging out in the fashionable fleshpots of the King's Road with all the Chelsea Italians so she insisted he come to Selhurst where the temptations would be few.

She also insisted that instead of shaving his head totally in a fashionable style like many balding men, he reduce his charisma by leaving a silly bit above each ear

Thomas Brolin, sated with herring pies cooked by his girlfriend Ingrid, arrived at Crystal Palace in the same era is Lombardo. As well as hoovering up his victuals, Ingrid insisted that Thomas prepare for a post-football career by observing the techniques and manufacturing methods in the Dyson Hoover Works near their Coulsdon home. This served Thomas well in later years.

He ended his south London career by jointly managing CPFC with Attilio Lombardo after the surprise resignation of Steve Coppell.

One of the pair was a brilliant footballer who spoke no English and the other was a hopeless footballer who spoke superb English, so between them they were a promising combination, it was thought at the time. Events proved otherwise.

Sasa Curcic was greatly influenced by his wife, Marina, who kept a firm rein on the eccentric (and that's putting it mildly) footballer. She was swayed towards Crystal Palace when she discovered a Serbian restaurant in Norwood Junction which served the couple's favourite Belgrade dish, pickled pigs' testicles served in pork belly sauce.

The shrewd Marina also surmised that not many clubs other than CPFC would be daft enough to let one of their players parade around the touchline during a league game, carrying a protest banner over international action against Serbia...

John Pemberton had several top-level clubs interested in him when he played for Crewe Alexandra but his wife, Georgia, insisted he come to Selhurst in 1988 because she had heard the expression "Croydon pram-face", referring to the unattractiveness of girls in the Palace catchment area.

She hoped that this would put a damper on John's roving eye for the young ladies of the parish. But, to her chagrin, she was proved wrong.

Vassilis Lakis was quite happily playing for AEK Athens in 2004. His wife Spiroula was a political activist and was strongly involved in the movement to restore the Parthenon marbles at the British Museum to their original home in Athens and reunite them with the other half.

She needed a base in London to generate a team to storm the British Museum during the night, remove the marbles with forklift trucks and secretly ship them on barges down the Thames and by sea back to the Aegean; so she instructed Vassilis to sign up for CPFC.

Fortunately for her, she became so excited and involved in his involvement with the European Cup-winning Greek national team that she completely forgot everything else and avoided a long jail sentence.

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