May 8 2007

Jobi McAnuff

Your resident columnist, Jamesey, gives some very unofficial awards for the past season.

Match of the season

Coventry City 2 Crystal Palace 4. I didn't get to many away games and it was an unexpected delight to see us bang in four goals before half-time at the Ricoh stadium in January. It was almost inevitable that Old Boy Leon McKenzie would reply for the Sky Blues.

But in the second half, we kept our nerve, held tight and played some good, sensible and attractive football. We were instrumental in getting manager Micky Adams the boot shortly after, although this did create a vacancy to be filled by the once-worshipped, now-not worshipped Iain Dowie. Magic Midland moments.

Player of the season

Jobi McAnuff. The man has his detractors and he sometimes drifts out of the game but to me he was the most watchable player of the campaign. When he gets the ball he is always unpredictable and that's why he is so entertaining to watch.

He doesn't always do the safe thing and can leave us vulnerable. But he is always supremely entertaining and while putting three points in the bag is the ultimate aim, to watch a player with electric ball skills and a quick imagination is what I love. Jamaican jewel.

Goal of the season

Mark Hudson's match-winning goal to beat Sunderland 1-0 in December. It wasn't that the goal was brilliant in itself but, on a night of swirling fog, to beat Roy Keane's team was a towering achievement, particularly as they went on to win the CCC.

We had lost our two previous games and to beat a big club under a fearsome new manager seemed to give us life. Over the festive holiday we went on to draw twice away and win at home. Important goals aren't always about Pele-like acrobatics and volleys over the keeper from the half-way line. Big Mark does the business.

Top man of the season

Simon Jordan, our owner and chairman. Apart from cleverly buying back the freehold of Selhurst Park from Ron Noades and giving us real status again, Simon goes up in leaps and bounds in my estimation. He appears to have matured and the spiky young loudmouth is a thing of the past.

He has shown patience in getting behind Peter Taylor (as I write). And there aren't many (if any) league chairmen who could turn out in the club strip and give an adequate performance as he did in both of the Geoff Thomas charity games.

And I am told by club sources that he is not a hands-on control freak and leaves the people who know the business to make the decisions on a week-to-week basis. Super Simon.

Flop man of the season

Shefki Kuqi. I can't think of a more overpriced player at CPFC since the dreaded and dreadlocked Ade Akinbiyi was ushered in by Trevor Francis. After nearly an entire season Shefki has looked overwight, overrated and over the age of being much good.

That is not to say that he has been consistently bad, because he had a few decent games. But for £2.5m, a lot more than that is required. And it is not advisable to make public statements slagging off your own club's fans, however justified you might think you are. Albanian and very average.

Warm glow of the season

After many years of anticipation , the Missis and I took a trip to Sri Lanka late last year and that gorgeous island with its hospitable and smiling people made an enormous impression on us both. Like any red-blooded Palace supporter after a couple of weeks, I was beginning to wonder what was happening back in SE25.

I hacked my way through the snake-infested jungle, battling with man-eating tigers and crocodiles, to a hut marked "internet cafe". There, with trembling fingers I typed my way to this site and discovered we had drawn two nasty away games and beaten the Pooper-scoops 3-0 at home. This, I thought, in ecstasy could be the turning point of the season. But it wasn't of course.

Wit of the season

The HOL's very own Mr Cucking Funt gets my vote for the most consistently entertaining poster on the site.

How he manages to reconcile his high office as a moderator with his always outrageous and superbly non-PC thoughts is a mystery to me. But long may he manage the juggling act and long may his droll, daft, dark and wise thoughts amuse us all. Cucking great.

Sh*t of the season

Our 4-2 defeat away to QPR was bad enough but my only really hostile award goes to the moron who was sitting a couple of rows in front of me at Loftus Road in November. Now, I don't expect football matches to be vicarage tea-parties and banter, insults and strong language (as they say on TV these days) are all part and parcel of the affair.

But when I see a grown man, with three pre-pubescent boys, screeching vile hatred at the ref, linesmen, QPR players and home supporters throughout the game, I draw the line.

And this halfwit had trained his young family to do the same thing, so we were treated to gibbering obscenities and gestures in double stereo throughout the entire game. Too many more like them and I'd walk away. Vile bodies.

Lifetime achievement award

To all the HOL team (except me, of course. You can't give yourself an award, unfortunately).

Email Jamesey with your comments to Jevans3704@aol.com

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