March 25 2005

Crystal Palace

Our new betting tipster Gerry McDonnell gives his view on this week's World Cup qualifiers...

As much as I love the World Cup, I can't for the life of me work out why a pointless qualifier against Northern Ireland should take precedent over the Premiership. Being a visionary, I have a solution to the problem. Qualifying groups for future International competitions should involve the dead-wood playing amongst themselves.

The likes of Andorra, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, San Marino and Scotland should play each other in a series of matches, while the superior teams, England, France, Italy etc, receive a bye. Once the chaff has been eliminated, the seeds will play the qualifiers in a one off match on a neutral venue.

The benefits of this scheme would lead to an extra five Premiership weekends, allowing the English top flight to have a winter break, which consequently leads to football odds compilers reaching a respectable bevvying level over the Christmas period.

I await a reply from Sepp.

Now call me a modern-day philosophising genius if you must, but in order to truly appreciate the few lagers at Christmas with the lads, having a few games of pool, listening to the Libertines at the appropriate volume and hitting the obligatory ruby house after; you occasionally have to endure an evening in with the Mrs, drinking tea, watching a programme called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with children running around the room screaming, and the closest you get to a curry is the "Tikka f****** jump" the other half suggests when you enquire about dinner.

So let's not look on the England match as the boring complete waste of 90 minutes mismatch that it clearly is, let's be "half-full" people and take advantage of the many betting opportunities available, knowing that the Premiership returns in a week.

It's sad to hear of Andy Johnson's withdrawal from the England squad due to injury, but bearing in mind England's last International, where Sven's tactical genius made A.J. the most ridiculous right-winger since Robert Kilroy-Silk, you can sympathise if the Palace man decided to pull a Giggs.

England's first choice strike force of Owen and Rooney are fit to play though; and young Michael is a hat-trick away from becoming England's all-time 4th highest goal scorer, an exceptional achievement for a 25 year old. Bearing in mind he should be razor sharp due to being well-rested by the Madrid manager, the 16/1 on offer from Paddy Power about Owen bagging the three goals he needs seems quite generous.

If you don't think it will be Michael's day, the same firm offer 20/1 about Rooney scoring three times, which would normally set him back around £90.

If you're tuning in to the France v Switzerland match, the Swiss striker Andre Muff looks a half decent bet to open the scoring. He's as short as 10/1 with Ladbrokes, but I'm happy to advise you to get on A. Muff at 16/1 with Totesport. My footballing contacts inform me that Wayne Rooney has a very high opinion of him, although Matthew Upson feels he is somewhat over-rated.

My sources also claim that he has a reputation for simulation, but before you run down to your local bookmakers and ask the bleached blonde cashier, "What price Muff diving?" you should be aware that a kick in the testicles can often offend.

Cliché watch:

What they say:

"There are no easy games in International football."

What they mean:

"There are no easy games in International football, with the definite exception of Scotland at home."

Going up:

Joe Cole: The future of English football is 11/1 with William Hill to bag the opener.

Going down:

Scotland: The latest FIFA World rankings show Scotland are now in a tie for 88th place, a distance behind the Footballing greats of the United Arab Emirates and Burkina Faso. If you disagree with FIFA, you can get 20/1 about the Jocks this weekend.

Quote of the week:

"Once a blue, always a blue."

Student Patrick Hanrahan makes his point to Wayne Rooney in a Manchester bar, before receiving a shoeing.

Tip of the week:

Don't annoy Wayne Rooney in a boozer.

Weekend Betting:

England v Northern Ireland Saturday 26th March 15.00 Live on BBC

England 1/7 Super Soccer

Draw 6/1 UK Betting

Northern Ireland 22/1 Boylesports

Get on: England

Northern Ireland recently went 12 matches without scoring a goal, home win.

Match Special:

Lampard and Gerrard both to score 10/1 @ Sporting Odds

Wales v Austria Saturday 26th March 15.00 Live on Sky

Wales 11/10 Stan James

Draw 9/4 Bet Direct

Austria 11/4 William Hill

Get on: Wales

The Welsh are now Savage-less, and consequently look a better team. Earnshaw and Bellamy are both in great goal scoring form. Another home win.

Match Special:

Bellamy to score the first goal 11/2 @ Totesport

Earnshaw to score the first goal 6/1 @ Ladbrokes

Poland v Azerbaijan Saturday 26th March 17.00 Live on Sky

Poland 1/5 Bet Direct

Draw 11/2 William Hill

Azerbaijan 16/1 Sporting Odds

Get on: Poland

Azerbaijan have previously recorded victories over Slovakia and Switzerland, but let's face it, they're rubbish. Yet another home win.

Match Special:

Poland to win 1-0 8/1 @ William Hill

Israel v Rep Of Ireland Saturday 26th March 17.50 Live on Channel 5

Israel 21/10 Bet Direct

Draw 9/4 Boylesports

Rep Of Ireland 13/10 Sporting Odds

Get on: Draw

The Irish are top of the Group and are playing quite well. The Israeli's are no mugs though, score draw.

Match Special:

Match to finish 1-1 11/2 @ BET 365

Italy v Scotland Saturday 26th March 19.45 Live on BBC Scotland

Italy 1/5 BET 365

Draw 5/1 Boylesports

Scotland 20/1 Super Soccer

Get on: Italy

Nothing is certain except deaths, taxes and if you're at home to Scotland, you spank those Sweaties.

Match Special:

Italy to win 5-0 28/1 @ Paddy Power

France v Switzerland Saturday 26th March 20.00 Live on Eurosport

France 4/9 Ladbrokes

Draw 7/2 Super Soccer

Switzerland 9/1 Totesport

Get on: France

The Swiss haven't qualified for a World Cup since 1994, that trend will continue as the French move to the top of their group.

Match Special:

A Muff to score at any time 9/2 @ Stan James