I will begin.

At 16, the sluttiest, filthiest rag-bag in college didn't want to sleep with me because I was "too nice to her". I then followed her around like a puppy-dog for about six months hoping she would change her mind by... err... being nice to her?

FAIL.

Moving swiftly on...

When i was 17, met this girl and she liked me and i liked her. She came round my house and i thought we were going to have sex. After an hour and a half of talking to her i came out with "So, shall we have sex now?" which was met with the response of "NO, I dont just sleep with anyone".

That was the last time i spoke or saw her.

Going for best overseas poster in the next HOL Awards!

Serves you right you office lothario you.

I know you are but what am I?

I was about 17 and was at a house party, I was very drunk and then through my beer googles (I thought) I saw a girl I was really good friends with at college and had fancied for ages but never had the balls to ask her out, I went over a started chatting crap to her and lucky enough she was also very drunk it didnt take long before we were snogging in the garden, I couldnt beleive my luck !

After about 20 mins we took a break and I turned to go and get more drinks and as I looked up I got the shock of my life when I saw the girl I thought I was snogging standing at the door, It took a few seconds to realise that the girl I was snogging was in fact her (younger) sister !

They looked identical !

She slapped me across the face a run out, it took about 4 months before she would talk to me again !

I never laughed at Clowns when I was younger however in adulthood its a different story.............. Who's laughing now !!!!!

whilst at a house party when i was 15, i managed to blag to a seriously fit 18 year old that i was also 18. By reeling off my older brother's educational program and place of study, she took my word for it. Being surrounded by about 20 of my mates who were all also 15, i thought i'd casually suggest we get out out of there. She drops in that a few of her mates are in a pub up the road, would i like to escort her there?

So off we go, casually mosying up to the pub, stopping for the odd snog and the like when from across the road, two of my school mates shout out in their semi-broken tones "alright Matt?" i ignore them and try to move on, she asks "who are they?"... "oh, they're just some of my younger (made up) brother's friends, let's keep going".
Just as we're about to get to the pub, she decides to tell me that i can't go in with her and after asking why, it turns out that she's already seeing two guys who are in there. My suggestion for her to go for hat-trick didn't go down well. But she took my number and said she'd call me maybe. This is where i should have quit whilst ahead.

Admitting defeat i let her go into the pub, go across the road to see the mates that i ignored and wait for a bus home. After sitting there and getting "s***, she was fit" type pats on the back, i decide i really need a piss. Being 15 and pissed, my brain decided it would be a good idea to go in the pub, casually swan past her table with the two cocks on, say hi, and go to the loo.

Now i'd never been to this pub before so in i go... casually walk past her and her mates (including some biiiig dudes) drop a casual "alright?" and walk round the bar. No sign of the gents round there so back i go, past her table again, and to her horror, drop another "Alright?"... sadly i was too focussed on making eye contact with her to notice a smal stool in my path... which i duely fell over- right over!

Getting up, dusting myself down i turned to see the barman giving me the expected "you better be leaving soon" eyeball. "sorry mate where's yer loo?" was greeted with a vague point to the other end of the bar, to which i headed. I staggered to the door which i believed to be the gents, glad of the awaiting solitude, only to open it and discover the f***ing fuse cupboard!

Turning round bemused, i discovered the actual toilet door... in i went, did my business, came out to ironic cheering to which i shouted "go f*** yourselves" and swiftly legged it.

she still hasn't called.

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"You don't own a dog & bark yourself, do you?"

I had just been binned by my first missus.
Confidence and self esteem were at an all time low.
After a few beers one night,my mate persuaded me to ask out a lovely girl working in the pizza shop we went to after the pub.
Suprisingly she accepted and went out with me a few days later.
On the date,that evening all i did was winge,piss and moan about my situation and ex.
Unsurprisingly that was that;
FAIL - TOSSER.
#Only good thing to come of it was I realised the error of my ways and stuck to getting mullered in my local and pretended I was a confirmed batchelor.Got laid regular after that.

Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.