My biggest pet hate is people who ask 'you OK?' instead of just saying hello, or 'alright?'. It forces you to answeer with a platitude - it's worse than 'how are you?' which could be the start of a conversation, but normally just gets 'fine, and you?'. They are not interested in how you are and 99 times out of 100 if you ask them back there is silence. It's based on a premise that you might not be OK whereas they most definitely are so they presume some psychological upperhand. B*stards. Seems petty but it's f*cking irritating - could have been devised by Alastair Sim in School for Scoundrels.

'Early doors' is annoying, anyone who utters the phrase 'job's a good 'un' should be shot immediastely, and the latest 'my bad' is invariably the mark of a tw*t. Does anyone have any more particular examples of cliched annoyance?

It isn't a stock phrase but if someone states that they are jealous when they mean envious......I get unusually annoyed.

As a consequence I find myself annoyed quite a lot as it's done all the time.

'Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' (Leslie Nielsen)

Saying "One hundred per cent" instead of just agreeing.
"Oh, my days" drives me up the wall.

Younger people who watch too much American tv and go into a cafe, takeaway, shop etc and say “can I get……” instead of “can I have…..”

If it was ‘get’ you would have to climb over the counter and get it yourself

Sorry, instead of excuse me. Does my head in.

This operation, will make the 'Charge Of The Light Brigade' seem like a simple military exercise.

100% agree

“That’s a joke son, I say, that’s a joke.” “Nice boy, but he’s sharp as a throw pillow.” “He’s so dumb he thinks a Mexican border pays rent” “ “Son… I say, son, some people are so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes.”__ Forhorn Leghorn