Oh dear! No! For some reason I can't help myself from laughing when I see him play.

There's something about him that makes me think of Charlie Chaplin on Speed. Unfair I know, but I don't think he's right for us, besides his pay demands would surely be out of reach.

Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

A free-kick expert who has scored some terrific goals.A scorer of terrific goals rather than a terrific goalscorer.Dead-ball delivery of the highest order.

What has been labelled against him is that he has been inconsistent and his workrate isn't the best which affects his defensive duties - not known for tracking back etc.

I'd argue he's completely the wrong fit for us.

Expensive, little room for development, no resale value, poor injury record, needs the team built around him, and most important of all, he'd be stepping down several levels at a time in his career that should be his peak (see Benteke, Sakho, Cabeye), and so will lose any remaining hunger he ever had. Apart from the literal kind, which seems quite an issue looking at the lad.

Like I can talk...