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Just Supposing Football Went The Way Of Cricket

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Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 15 Apr 21 12.55pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Ever since, in my junior school report, the only good thing they could find to say about me was "He would make a good cricketer" I have disliked the game intensely.

But, reading the other day that some bright spark in the governing body had decided to modernise the terminology made my blood boil. Now, I'm not averse to change, I spent a large part of my working life making changes to improve results. But the reason for changing the terminology in cricket is to make a new competition,"The Hundred", attractive to newcomers and to expand it's fan base.

The term 'wickets' is to be replaced by 'outs' and batsmen will be known as 'batters'. There are more, but you get the drift. Are folk really too daft to understand what a wicket is? No more sticky wickets - bonkers.

Needless to say, my mind wandered to thoughts of how football terms could be changed to make our game more understandable. Goals could become 'ins' I suppose. But I thought there might be an opportunity for some creative thinking by livelier brains than mine, so what new terms would you suggest.

Finally, if you've got the time and the inclination, this is an amusing piece on the subject by Henry Blofeld.

[Link]

 


Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

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Teddy Eagle Flag 15 Apr 21 1.35pm Send a Private Message to Teddy Eagle Add Teddy Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by Palace Old Geezer

Ever since, in my junior school report, the only good thing they could find to say about me was "He would make a good cricketer" I have disliked the game intensely.

But, reading the other day that some bright spark in the governing body had decided to modernise the terminology made my blood boil. Now, I'm not averse to change, I spent a large part of my working life making changes to improve results. But the reason for changing the terminology in cricket is to make a new competition,"The Hundred", attractive to newcomers and to expand it's fan base.

The term 'wickets' is to be replaced by 'outs' and batsmen will be known as 'batters'. There are more, but you get the drift. Are folk really too daft to understand what a wicket is? No more sticky wickets - bonkers.

Needless to say, my mind wandered to thoughts of how football terms could be changed to make our game more understandable. Goals could become 'ins' I suppose. But I thought there might be an opportunity for some creative thinking by livelier brains than mine, so what new terms would you suggest.

Finally, if you've got the time and the inclination, this is an amusing piece on the subject by Henry Blofeld.

[Link]

Batters and outs are both baseball terms - if the (out)fielders start shagging flies it’ll add another dimension.
When America started televising “soccer” I watched a bit out of curiosity but had to turn over when the commentator referred to a header as a “top volley”.

 

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becky Flag over the moon 15 Apr 21 1.44pm Send a Private Message to becky Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add becky as a friend

Originally posted by Palace Old Geezer

Ever since, in my junior school report, the only good thing they could find to say about me was "He would make a good cricketer" I have disliked the game intensely.

But, reading the other day that some bright spark in the governing body had decided to modernise the terminology made my blood boil. Now, I'm not averse to change, I spent a large part of my working life making changes to improve results. But the reason for changing the terminology in cricket is to make a new competition,"The Hundred", attractive to newcomers and to expand it's fan base.

The term 'wickets' is to be replaced by 'outs' and batsmen will be known as 'batters'. There are more, but you get the drift. Are folk really too daft to understand what a wicket is? No more sticky wickets - bonkers.

Needless to say, my mind wandered to thoughts of how football terms could be changed to make our game more understandable. Goals could become 'ins' I suppose. But I thought there might be an opportunity for some creative thinking by livelier brains than mine, so what new terms would you suggest.

Finally, if you've got the time and the inclination, this is an amusing piece on the subject by Henry Blofeld.

[Link]

A Front = Offside

That's a Leg = someone made a tackle

That's an Ice = ditto sliding tackle

Stop = goalkeeper made a save

Decoy = dived


 


A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 15 Apr 21 1.56pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Reminds me a bit of a conference I went to where an American speaker mentioned people who were experiencing an ongoing negative lifecycle (dead).

Anyway, I suppose a save could be an in rebuttal
Referees would become whistlers
Line-o's would be flaggers
VAR operatives would become Territorial Watch And Trail Specialists (t***S for short)
A red card becomes a gametime termination announcement
and an open goal miss becomes simply a Benteke.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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Cucking Funt Flag Clapham on the Back 15 Apr 21 2.04pm Send a Private Message to Cucking Funt Add Cucking Funt as a friend

Originally posted by Palace Old Geezer

Ever since, in my junior school report, the only good thing they could find to say about me was "He would make a good cricketer" I have disliked the game intensely.

But, reading the other day that some bright spark in the governing body had decided to modernise the terminology made my blood boil. Now, I'm not averse to change, I spent a large part of my working life making changes to improve results. But the reason for changing the terminology in cricket is to make a new competition,"The Hundred", attractive to newcomers and to expand it's fan base.

The term 'wickets' is to be replaced by 'outs' and batsmen will be known as 'batters'. There are more, but you get the drift. Are folk really too daft to understand what a wicket is? No more sticky wickets - bonkers.

Needless to say, my mind wandered to thoughts of how football terms could be changed to make our game more understandable. Goals could become 'ins' I suppose. But I thought there might be an opportunity for some creative thinking by livelier brains than mine, so what new terms would you suggest.

Finally, if you've got the time and the inclination, this is an amusing piece on the subject by Henry Blofeld.

[Link]

What are they going to call ‘silly mid-off’?

 


Wife beating may be socially acceptable in Sheffield, but it is a different matter in Cheltenham

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Lombardinho Flag London 15 Apr 21 2.38pm Send a Private Message to Lombardinho Add Lombardinho as a friend

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey is to be normalised.
Any titters will be punished!

 

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Cannonball Flag High in the Ozarks. 15 Apr 21 3.27pm Send a Private Message to Cannonball Add Cannonball as a friend

Originally posted by becky

A Front = Offside

That's a Leg = someone made a tackle

That's an Ice = ditto sliding tackle

Stop = goalkeeper made a save

Decoy = dived


Surely a dive should be known as a Salah.

 


Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

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Midlands Eagle Flag 15 Apr 21 3.54pm Send a Private Message to Midlands Eagle Add Midlands Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by Palace Old Geezer

But the reason for changing the terminology in cricket is to make a new competition,"The Hundred", attractive to newcomers and to expand it's fan base.

The term 'wickets' is to be replaced by 'outs' and batsmen will be known as 'batters'

"The Hundred" is supposed to be an attempt to attract younger people to cricket but I'm not sure that real cricket fans will take to it as it's franchise based and not county based.

I wonder how many people would be willing to watch football if Palace, Charlton and Millwall were amalgamated and renamed South London which is effectively what will happen with The Hundred.

Incidentally professional cricketers have always referred to batsmen as batters

Edited by Midlands Eagle (15 Apr 2021 3.54pm)

 

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Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 15 Apr 21 5.00pm

Originally posted by Midlands Eagle

"The Hundred" is supposed to be an attempt to attract younger people to cricket but I'm not sure that real cricket fans will take to it as it's franchise based and not county based.

I wonder how many people would be willing to watch football if Palace, Charlton and Millwall were amalgamated and renamed South London which is effectively what will happen with The Hundred.

Incidentally professional cricketers have always referred to batsmen as batters

Edited by Midlands Eagle (15 Apr 2021 3.54pm)

Whilst I don’t disagree, teams being amalgamated could possibly work as in Australia where State of Origin is huge.

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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Bexley Eagle Flag Bexley Kent 15 Apr 21 5.19pm Send a Private Message to Bexley Eagle Add Bexley Eagle as a friend

Just of the subject of the Hundred it is a competition concocted by marketing men so jealous of the IPL’s success they had to come up with something “revolutionary”. I am a cricket fan and this kind of bollox is not something I will give two hoots about. Change for changes sake. There are so many t20 (and even a t10) francises around the world the last thing we need is another one.

 

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Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 15 Apr 21 5.22pm

Originally posted by Bexley Eagle

Just of the subject of the Hundred it is a competition concocted by marketing men so jealous of the IPL’s success they had to come up with something “revolutionary”. I am a cricket fan and this kind of bollox is not something I will give two hoots about. Change for changes sake. There are so many t20 (and even a t10) francises around the world the last thing we need is another one.

In danger of being a poor mans IPL

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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lush1076 Flag leatherhead 15 Apr 21 7.46pm Send a Private Message to lush1076 Add lush1076 as a friend

The Hundred sounds awful. I'm 36 and my favourite is, was and always will be test cricket.

 

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