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Advice on teenage daughters
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Tom-the-eagle  Croydon 27 Oct 19 11.37am |
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Never thought I’d use this site for parental advice but here goes. Have three kids, all great but also challenging in their own ways bless them. My middle daughter is 14 and has always been very shy which the other’s haven’t, she’s a very kind and helpful girl however has recently become very moody and even less talkative. Often the only response I receive from a question is a mutter under her breath. I know at this age hormones are kicking in but I’d like to somehow get through to her and have my old daughter back. Any advice welcome. Cheers
"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit |
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 becky over the moon 27 Oct 19 11.47am |
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At 14, I would have thought the hormones have already well kicked in. The other two main and likely problems could be bullying (online or at school) or boy(s). Other cause could be that she's got onto Hol and read some of your posts Edited by becky (27 Oct 2019 11.48am)
A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers |
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| Tom-the-eagle Croydon 27 Oct 19 12.04pm |
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Originally posted by becky
At 14, I would have thought the hormones have already well kicked in. The other two main and likely problems could be bullying (online or at school) or boy(s). Other cause could be that she's got onto Hol and read some of your posts Edited by becky (27 Oct 2019 11.48am)
"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit |
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 DanH SW2 27 Oct 19 12.19pm |
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Originally posted by Tom-the-eagle
I think this is just semi-normal teenage behaviour. It’s a tough age turning from a child into an adult and working a lot of things out for yourself. Just let her be her and be there for her as and when you can be.
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| ex hibitionist Hastings 27 Oct 19 12.44pm |
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very true, it's not just hormones the world and all its depressing aspects hit us in the face around this age, this is often underrated when teenage angst is discussed - I've had to teach in secondary schools at times and 14 is the worst age - they go from thinking adults are gods straight to thinking of them as tw*ts before a year or two later they see them as mere humans, one of which they are too - good luck, hopefully Palace will provide you with some solace during your unenviable struggle, but she sounds good hearted so it shouldn't take too many years off your life.
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| Tom-the-eagle Croydon 27 Oct 19 1.05pm |
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Originally posted by DanH
I think this is just semi-normal teenage behaviour. It’s a tough age turning from a child into an adult and working a lot of things out for yourself. Just let her be her and be there for her as and when you can be. Whilst other parents are busy taking their teenagers around local colleges in perpetration for leaving school, mine get dragged round the local nunneries Thanks Dan
"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit |
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| Tom-the-eagle Croydon 27 Oct 19 1.08pm |
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Originally posted by ex hibitionist
very true, it's not just hormones the world and all its depressing aspects hit us in the face around this age, this is often underrated when teenage angst is discussed - I've had to teach in secondary schools at times and 14 is the worst age - they go from thinking adults are gods straight to thinking of them as tw*ts before a year or two later they see them as mere humans, one of which they are too - good luck, hopefully Palace will provide you with some solace during your unenviable struggle, but she sounds good hearted so it shouldn't take too many years off your life. Good advice as always Hib except for the part about Palace providing solace, not sure what you were thinking there!
"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit |
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| kingdowieonthewall Sussex, ex-Cronx. 27 Oct 19 1.36pm |
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Tom, Basically you're screwed mate.
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents? |
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| Rudi Hedman Caterham 27 Oct 19 1.51pm |
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Originally posted by kingdowieonthewall
Tom, Basically you're screwed mate. Tom will look forward to this in anticipation.,
COYP |
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| Apollofuzz On the edge of reason 27 Oct 19 1.54pm |
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Parent of three daughters here. As Becky said bullying is something to look out for. Also carefully and subtlety keep an hour in her eating make sure she isn't skipping meals or leaving the table straight after meals. This is from experiences of a friends daughter. Don't make food an issue though. We do a thing at family meal times called question of the day first everyone says one good thing about their day and one bad. Then one persons asks a question like what is your fav song or what animal would you like to be. Its just a good way of starting a conversation you will be surprised what you might find. Finally all kids are different some hide in their rooms and some join every club going. But treat them all the same and dont compare them. I expect it's just one of those phases. Be supportive. You will come out the other end. The fact that you are concerned shows good parenting. Show a United front even if you disagree with your partner. Discuss it away from the kids Probably been no help at all but best I have. Good luck Edited by Apollofuzz (28 Oct 2019 12.38pm)
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| JohnB 27 Oct 19 4.32pm |
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I know it's not the done thing any more but I would write a simple letter to her and leave it on her bed to find so she can read it on her own. I'd just put things along the lines of how proud you are of her, that you're always there to talk if she wants to but there is no pressure, that she can talk to you about anything, that if anything bad ever happens she can come to you and that you love her. Then it's up to her to either talk to you, call you a names for writing a soppy letter or ask why you wrote it in which case you can say that you've noticed a change and just wanted to make sure everything is ok.
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| Casual Orpington 27 Oct 19 7.01pm |
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Originally posted by JohnB
I know it's not the done thing any more but I would write a simple letter to her and leave it on her bed to find so she can read it on her own. I'd just put things along the lines of how proud you are of her, that you're always there to talk if she wants to but there is no pressure, that she can talk to you about anything, that if anything bad ever happens she can come to you and that you love her. Then it's up to her to either talk to you, call you a names for writing a soppy letter or ask why you wrote it in which case you can say that you've noticed a change and just wanted to make sure everything is ok. Write a letter? How will he do the emojis mate? Texting now innit.
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