1. Window opens. Palace fans excited as team is in dire need of (insert this windows positions).
2. Huddersfield sign 3 players.
3. Lunchtime Day 1.
4. Palace are linked with the same 12 players we are always linked with despite some of them now playing cricket in the Indian Premier League.
5. A week goes by.
6. Huddersfield sell two of the three players they bought and buy three more.
7. Palace sell someone.
8. Palace rumoured to be giving player a medical. Player is not one of the positions desperately needed.
9. Player fails, doesnt turn up, was never having medical.(Pick one)
10. Another week goes by.
11. Twitter announces an imminent signing
12 Palace sell some else.
13 Yes! New signing over the line. Turns out to be someone for the marketing department.
14 Palace sell someone else but its still not Jordan Mutch.
15 Official Palace twitter still raving about new marketing person
16 One week to go. No new faces, 3 players gone .
17. West Ham do deals for all Palace targets.
18. Last day looms.
19. YES!Palace sign someone. Not in the positions needed and out for 6 weeks but YES! Take that Huddersfield. They do and sign 5 more before the deadline.
20. All 8 of Huddersfields signings get on the scoresheet in first outing.
21. All West Hams signings turn out to be rubbish and papers start linking them all with Palace.
22. Goto 1.

Each window seems to have a theme. Last window the theme was "let's see who can f*** up a deal a few seconds before the window closes". We put in a good effort with the Niasse one but the winner was obviously the idiot whose fax arrived 14 seconds too late.

This window the theme seems to be "let's see who can read the most non-existent meaning into an insignificant tweet". Contenders seem to be a) the one in which Wilf says "Young but I'm ready", which apparently means he's going to Spurs despite the universal chorus of "Wilf is going nowhere"; and b) Guaita followed a lot of Twitter accounts of Palace fans and then unfollowed them, which depending on who you are means either i) he's signed for Palace or ii) he isn't signing for Palace.

Edited by chateauferret (14 Jan 2018 8.26pm)

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The Ferret
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Did anyone see Tosun for Everton at Wembley?
He was on the pitch cos I saw him get subbed.
Maybe sometimes it doesn’t hurt not jumping in.

I dont think you can necessarily equate a failed signings performance as how they would do at our club. It depends on the manager and the players around them.
Oh and sometimes the referee.

COYP