Great news we managed to get an interview with Roy Hodgson following Palace’s one nil defeat to Southampton.

So Roy you can’t pleased with that result?

RH “well first off I’d like to ask what I’m doing here?”

It’s an interview Roy following the game

RH “ah right, well I thought we were unlucky in places. We’ve got to learn to move the ball a bit more but one nil is better than losing two nil”

A few fans have commented that Jason Puncheon seems to be a big part of the problem, in that he’s been frankly crap for the last 18 months. Can you explain your reason behind picking him?

RH “well it’s quite simple really, Mr Parish put it in my contract that he has to be picked. However, I’d have picked him anyway and he slots effectively into the midfield as part of any combination. Mainly on account of the fact there are no R’s in his name for me to pronounce. I took off that Rubens Loftus-Cheek for that very reason, if he had scored can you imagine me trying to pronounce it”

We will come to that substitution in a moment. Back to Puncheon he adds nothing to the team. With him in it we look like we couldn’t score in a brothel and his first touch at times is further than I can kick it.

RH “never underestimate the power of a talker. A good working girl will tell you that. He also looked quite good in the FA cup final when I last saw him play”

So can you explain why you took of RFL and brought on Sako?

RH “well Steve told me in his interview we had paid a lot of money for him and he helped keep us up last season, so I thought I’d bring him on. We were changing tactics – our corners hadn’t been working so I wanted to give Christian something to aim at when he started taking them”

Roy – that’s Sakho, he’s a different player

RH “remind me again what I’m doing here”

OP please tell me you're joking.. If not go back to the bridge you live under.

I'd point out I actually think RH is the right person for the job!