I'm entirely p!ssed off with the media w4nkfest around the Manc derby. Who cares?

I would guess at several million

You're right and I was miles out:-

According to Kantar media, in the largest ever worldwide football survey conducted in 2013, there are 1.6 billion football followers in the whole world. Of those 1.6 billion followers, 659 million are Manchester united followers with 431 million of them regarded as die hard fans.

This means that the amount of Manchester United followers are more than a third of the worldwide football followers and are nearly 10% of the world population.

Of the 659 million figure, Kantar says roughly half (325 million) live in the Asia Pacific region, 173 million in the Middle East and Africa, 90 million in Europe and 71 million in the Americas.

It was also suggested that of all those Manchester united followers, 108 million come from China alone. And more than 30% of South Korea's total population of 49 million were followers of Manchester United. Nigeria has the highest number of Manchester United followers in Africa and the middle east which is at around 22 million.

Guess what's first on MoTD.

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The Ferret
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So glad that a soulless bunch of overhyped, overpaid mercenaries got played off the park.

Oh, wait a minute......

Well I think Simon's head is large; always involved in espionage. (Name that tune)

But not the best, which is supposedly what MOTD base there running order on.

West Ham - Watford should have been the first match on.