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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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Haynesy44 Flag Crawley 20 Sep 12 2.24pm Send a Private Message to Haynesy44 Add Haynesy44 as a friend

Mary had a little skirt, a slit right up the back
And every time she wore the skirt the boys could see her crack

Mary had another skirt, a slit right up the front
But she didn't wear that one

 

We are the red & blue army!
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wollongongeagle Flag wollongong 27 Sep 12 11.48am Send a Private Message to wollongongeagle Add wollongongeagle as a friend

Police made a public appeal today for any information that may lead to the apprehension of an Ecstasy manufacturing ring, which is using Wrigleys packaging as a cover for distribution in the Pontefract region.

Chief Constable Albert Bucklethwaite of the West Yorkshire Police said it's a clear case of 'Eee by gum.'

 

We are the goon squad and we're going to town. Beep Beep!
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Herewegoagain Flag East Sussex 28 Sep 12 12.00pm Send a Private Message to Herewegoagain Add Herewegoagain as a friend

Schoolgirl Megan Stammers and her teacher have been spotted drinking at a bar in France.
He was necking Glenfiddich while she was swallowing Teachers !!!!!!!

 
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Palacetinian Flag Surrey Fam 01 Oct 12 11.21pm Send a Private Message to Palacetinian Add Palacetinian as a friend

Teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Billy says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behaviour of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson . . . . "

And you, Nancy?"

"I wanna be Little Billy's bitch!"

 

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

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since1953 Flag Maidenhead 01 Oct 12 11.38pm Send a Private Message to since1953 Add since1953 as a friend

Two gay cowboys in a tent
First Cowboy - Yup?
Second Cowboy - Yup

 
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Bin Liner Flag London , Southfields 16 Oct 12 12.15pm Send a Private Message to Bin Liner Add Bin Liner as a friend

Alan Pardew has told his players to forget about the Wonga shirt sponsor deal and just go out and give 4040% in thier next game.

 

Portillo's teeth removed to boost pound

Boy roasts himself in sacrifice to Chris Kelly
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teejay61 Flag The Cup of Sid 22 Oct 12 1.24pm Send a Private Message to teejay61 Add teejay61 as a friend

Viagara have released a new tablet called Viagara 007

It doesn't make you any harder, it just makes you Roger Moore

 

Supporting the mighty CPFC since September 1971
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rednblueblood 27 Oct 12 10.51pm Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

q.p.r.

 

In dog beers I’ve only had one.
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Palacetinian Flag Surrey Fam 29 Oct 12 9.12pm Send a Private Message to Palacetinian Add Palacetinian as a friend

What have New York and Danny Zuko got in common?

They were both f***ed by Sandy!!

 

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

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Palacetinian Flag Surrey Fam 30 Oct 12 9.15am Send a Private Message to Palacetinian Add Palacetinian as a friend

I wish everyone would lay off Jimmy Saville. He was really nice to me. When I was 8 he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded.

 

Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)!

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Catfish Flag Burgess Hill 12 Nov 12 7.11pm

A "modern" Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah, wide eyed "Go for it!”
"Doggy style?"
"Sure, sure!” he pants.
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey a side order of melted chocolate and a p***. video?"
"You may indeed."
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah."
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Because that could lead to dancing."

 

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial
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Bin Liner Flag London , Southfields 12 Nov 12 7.20pm Send a Private Message to Bin Liner Add Bin Liner as a friend

Dear Noel Edmonds;
Give me £100k or I will say you w/anked me off on Swap Shop, Deal or no deal?

 

Portillo's teeth removed to boost pound

Boy roasts himself in sacrifice to Chris Kelly
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