I get his point though. If this had happened in Germany or Italy, would this even be a crime? Seems the age of consent in Europe is a little messed up.

It's a bit verbose. The last thing you need is something wordy when you are arguing the case about your uncontrollably opening bomb hatch. For real emergency may I suggest "Let me in, I've got the bacons".

Or does it then go:
"The what's?"
"Well you remember those bacon bits from Pizza Hut?"
"No"
"They do them at Harvester too. At the salad bar, you know, a bit like the dried onion bits?"
"Oh yeah, me and the wife went there for my birthday, I do rather love the salad bar although it fills me up before my main course".
"Yeah, well, bacon bits, rhymes with 'sh*ts'"
"Yeah, you're right, it does.....oh mate, you have the sh*ts?"
"....no rush any more"

It was you! Long time no speak. You never managed to get back to me about my dry cleaning bill?

Bacon's a bit pricey down at Tesco today - gay