And from me please

We were always on opposite sides so spent quite a lot of time on each other in the past. Kind of drives a closeness and I miss him.

A HOL thread descending into carping and sniping. Just like old times.

I like to think that I played my part in educating the HOL in the endless pursuit of effective water-based lubricants.

Not my joke but worth a chuckle.

Man gets a bit lonely living on his own during lockdown so he decides to get himself a pet.
He goes to the local pet shop (let's pretend it's open) and checks out the pets on show but nothing catches his eye.
So he asks the shop owner, 'do you have anything out of the ordinary that I can still have as a pet'?
'Actually' the owner replies I have just the thing and he walks to the back of the shop before returning....'Here you are' he says and there's before the man's eyes a large Millipede is sitting in the owner's hands looking up at him. 'Why would I want that?' says the man and then suddenly the Millipede pulls a big smile and says, 'well that's a fine way to speak to your new pet'.....the man stands leaps back shocked, 'He can talk' he says to the owner. And shortly he's settling up business with the owner and happily taking his new pet home amazed with his luck.
Once home, he places the Millipede on the living room sofa, 'Yawn' says the Millipede, 'fancy watching the football? Match of the Day is on repeat'. 'Wow' says the man, you even know the TV schedule!'.
He turns on the TV and they settle down together to watch the first half' At the break, the Millipede turns to the man and says, 'Do you fancy a couple of beers from the shop? I could go and get some'. 'Really? says the man, 'You can do that too?, That sounds great' 'Right I'm off to get them in then' says the Millipede and heads off out the living room door.
Some time passes and the Millipede hasn't returned. So the man waits some more and still no Millipede. After what seems a worryingly long time the man finally decides he can sit no more and concerned that something has happened to his star pet the man gets off the sofa and decides to head out to the store and look for him.
Just as he's about to open the front door, he hears a sound and turns around to see the Millipede on the first step of the stairs. Shocked he says, 'It's been ages, What are you still doing here?'.
'Give me a chance to put my bloody boots on', replies the Millipede

Edited by Stirlingsays (13 May 2021 11.17pm)

'Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' (Leslie Nielsen)

Cheeky!

Dan DAN DAN

That is just so you, and so much nonsense.