We should just give Boris a call to talk this stuff over.

We used to do all sorts of daft things, a favourite was to find a deserted red telephone box and phone up Kruschev or Chairman Mao.

In all seriousness I was put through to GPO international enquiries and some pour soul would actually go to great lengths to find the Kremlin phone number.

I bit off more than I could chew when I actually got through to the White House however, and I legged it.

Hello, R.U.Smelly?

Yes.

Well, what are you going to do about it?

And another for Johnson doesn't appear to be damaging him as it should.

Boris Johnson wrongly cleared over Covid contracts, say MPs.

Cross-party group calls for action against PM for misleading Commons over multibillion-pound deals.

The cabinet secretary also under fire.

How many breaches of the ministerial code count as a real one?

Senior Conservatives say donors have been approached about funding other aspects of the couple’s lifestyle. ??????

A prominent MP received a complaint from a Tory donor that they were asked to foot the bill for a nanny for Wilfred, Johnson’s son with Symonds, who turned one last week. The donor is alleged to have said: “I don’t mind paying for leaflets but I resent being asked to pay to literally wipe the prime minister’s baby’s bottom.”

How extremely unedifying, yuk.

This whole completely foreseeable clusterf*ck over the Indian variant should have people seething. Can see restrictions remaining in place longer because of it. Genuinely staggered at the lack of anger towards the government for so many decisions (or more accurately lack of) that they’ve made during this whole sorry saga.