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w*** breaks at work?

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Southampton_Eagle Flag At the after party 17 Jan 17 7.24pm Send a Private Message to Southampton_Eagle Add Southampton_Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

tugging one off in a client's house ticks a lot of boxes.

^The danger of being caught
^soft furnishings and decor
^new visual stimulate, especially in the washing basket
^De-stressing

However, I did once knock one out in a shipping container on the site of Kingston's old gasworks 15 years ago.
I think I used a compressor's operating manual for visual stimulation, coz there was a fit bird holding a spanner.

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (13 Jan 2017 7.17pm)

The only problem with knocking one out in a stranger's home is if there's a serious crime there at a later date, your possible sofa stains makes you prime suspect

Edited by Southampton_Eagle (17 Jan 2017 7.25pm)

 

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Part Time James Flag 17 Jan 17 7.27pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by Southampton_Eagle

The only problem with knocking one out in a stranger's home is if there's a serious crime there at a later date, your possible sofa stains makes you prime suspect

Edited by Southampton_Eagle (17 Jan 2017 7.25pm)

That's why you should very quickly nip straight round someone else's house for a w**k so you have an alibi.

 




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Part Time James Flag 17 Jan 17 7.28pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

I hope no one makes a joke about it standing up in court.

 




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Southampton_Eagle Flag At the after party 17 Jan 17 7.31pm Send a Private Message to Southampton_Eagle Add Southampton_Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

That's why you should very quickly nip straight round someone else's house for a w**k so you have an alibi.

I'm so emotional after a w*nk I just cry, hug my pillow and whisper to it "I love you" before hitting it repetitively with a hammer.

 

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Part Time James Flag 17 Jan 17 7.36pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by Southampton_Eagle

I'm so emotional after a w*nk I just cry, hug my pillow and whisper to it "I love you" before hitting it repetitively with a hammer.

Glad it's just your pillow. If it had been a woman, saying "I love you" would've been excessive.

 




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Southampton_Eagle Flag At the after party 17 Jan 17 7.39pm Send a Private Message to Southampton_Eagle Add Southampton_Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

Glad it's just your pillow. If it had been a woman, saying "I love you" would've been excessive.

Ha!

 

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martin2412 Flag Living The Dream 17 Jan 17 8.14pm Send a Private Message to martin2412 Add martin2412 as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

I genuinely managed 10 as a teenager on one occasion. By the end it seemed like there was spunk on virtually everything in my bedroom, although admittedly it would only have been my hands, legs, belly, discarded clothes and my mum's Cosmo magazine which had a special pull-out about sun tans. And it was also true that by the end what was coming out looked like a small amount of shaving foam, it was just a frothy white substance. But the lie was that I can still do that. I've never even tried that and my limit would definitely be three these days.

Well anyway, you have been reading my brief m*sturbation autobiography. Also available on Kindle.

Edited by Part Time James (13 Jan 2017 11.35am)


Not my mums Cosmo magazine, but her Freemans catalogue (lingerie section) seemed to do the job.

 

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Part Time James Flag 17 Jan 17 10.30pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by martin2412


Not my mums Cosmo magazine, but her Freemans catalogue (lingerie section) seemed to do the job.

I remember when the Avon catalogue had pictures of bras in it and if you squinted you could sometimes see some nipple shadow. Only trouble is, it was suspicious when a 13 year old boy took the Avon catalogue out of the room so I'd have to browse it in the living room with a cushion on my lap.

 




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Mr_Gristle Flag In the land of Whelk Eaters 17 Jan 17 10.56pm Send a Private Message to Mr_Gristle Add Mr_Gristle as a friend

Originally posted by fish mitten

Maybe he felt his nuts tightening!

Winner, hands down!

 


Well I think Simon's head is large; always involved in espionage. (Name that tune)

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Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 18 Jan 17 9.32am Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

Originally posted by martin2412


Not my mums Cosmo magazine, but her Freemans catalogue (lingerie section) seemed to do the job.

Ahhh, the 1970's. I always looked forward to the John Moores catalogue being delivered, and fervently going to the lingerie section,....but as an added bonus, if you went to the shower screen section, there was always at least one naked woman posing behind frosted glass.

 


I disengage, I turn the page.

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Harpo Flag Oxfordshire 18 Jan 17 9.48am Send a Private Message to Harpo Add Harpo as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly


...one naked woman posing behind frosted glass.

Happens daily here at home. The real bonus is that she beats the meat for me!

 

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Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 18 Jan 17 10.22am Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

I remember when the Avon catalogue had pictures of bras in it and if you squinted you could sometimes see some nipple shadow. Only trouble is, it was suspicious when a 13 year old boy took the Avon catalogue out of the room so I'd have to browse it in the living room with a cushion on my lap.

Yep Avon was a favourite with one of my brothers too

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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