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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)
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 Old Chap  Orpington 12 Oct 11 11.08am |
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Chinese guy goes to a Jew to buy black bras, size 38. The Jew, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them. The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs. He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty. The Jew tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each. The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jew’s remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each. The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?" The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jews for $200.00 each."
Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season? |
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teejay61  The Cup of Sid 13 Oct 11 4.38pm |
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Paul McCartney is already moaning about his new wife. Apparently she has already spent twice as much on shoes as his previous Mrs.
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| kent675 Bromley, Kent 14 Oct 11 8.53am |
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I met a Dutchman yesterday with SatNav built into his shoes - bloody clever clogs!
Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul |
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| Old Chap Orpington 21 Oct 11 3.47pm |
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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The man replies, "That would be my wife."
Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season? |
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| jelholyoake 24 Oct 11 8.44pm |
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What do you call a time traveller from Brighton? Dr Whooohoooo!
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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| jelholyoake 27 Oct 11 9.56am |
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Ashley Cole. Bosingwa. Malouda. Obe Mikel. Sturridge. Anelka. Essien. Ramires. Drogba. Kalou. Now affectionately known as Terry's Chocolates.
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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| komakino over the hills and far away... 27 Oct 11 12.29pm |
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Paleontologists recently discovered what they believe to be a homosexual dinosaur. They named it Megasaurass.
"FOR F*CKS SAKE MURRAY!!" 360 gamertag - Komakino1 |
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Johnny Eagles  berlin 05 Nov 11 10.54am |
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What do bricklayers do when they retire? Throw in the trowel.
...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread... |
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| cantrbury eagle Canterbury 06 Nov 11 8.06pm |
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i went to the hospital with a groin strain the doctor said i will cradle you balls for assesment, this he did he then said it is perfectly natural to get an erection now, i said but i dont have an erection the doctor said not you me.
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| Old Chap Orpington 07 Nov 11 11.09am |
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German guy approaches one of the ladies of the night. 'I vish to buy zex vit shoo.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £50 an hour.' '..ist gutte, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky, ja?' 'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky.' So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. 'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your Hans und knees.' The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.. 'Now you vill get on your Hans und knees.' She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs. 'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.' She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and after all, the guy is paying.) She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. Her climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, 'Wow!!! That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?' 'Ah,' says the German . . .'zat is ze....
Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season? |
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johnno42000  14 Nov 11 4.30pm |
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What do you call a female singer who's downstairs lips go horizontal rather than vertical? Smiley Cyrus.
'Lies to the masses as are like fly's to mollasses...they want more and more and more' |
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| Hoof Hearted 17 Nov 11 11.06am | |
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Quote Deleagle at 07 Oct 2011 6.51pm
30 years ago we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash and Steve Jobs.
add Jimmy Saville to list and now we have no one to fix it
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