Shocking decline in quality there. Bring back Tim Vine (who I did actually see at the festival a few years back )!!!!

Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!!

I like the Bob Monkhouse Classic, "When i told everybody i was going to be a comedian, they all laughed at me, Well, their not laughing now"

“That’s a joke son, I say, that’s a joke.” “Nice boy, but he’s sharp as a throw pillow.” “He’s so dumb he thinks a Mexican border pays rent” “ “Son… I say, son, some people are so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes.”__ Forhorn Leghorn

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2 but they have to really like each other, and you have to get them in the lightbulb.

"It was a Team effort, I guess it took all players working together to lose this one"

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis.

I replied, "That's 15 love."

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the award?

He was outstanding in the field.

I took my computer to the repair shop because it kept playing pop songs.
he said it's common with a Dell.

"It was a Team effort, I guess it took all players working together to lose this one"