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Regale me with your tales of failure with women...
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 kingdowieonthewall  Sussex, ex-Cronx. 21 Jul 09 5.14pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.
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Don Rogers Tache  hanging around the local Taco Bell... 21 Jul 09 5.17pm |
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Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 5:14pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
One of the biggest lies in the world.
I've never promised that nor would I. 
If I pluck up the courage,I'll tell it soon.
Trouble is Kingy,it's got built up now so there will be muchos disappointment mate.
I know you are but what am I?
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cpfcwiltshire  Kanagawa 21 Jul 09 5.24pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 5:17pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 5:14pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
One of the biggest lies in the world.
I've never promised that nor would I.
If I pluck up the courage,I'll tell it soon.
Trouble is Kingy,it's got built up now so there will be muchos disappointment mate.
I was just telling me girlfriend about that! I dont know any man who hasn't broken that promise.
Going for best overseas poster in the next HOL Awards!
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| jelholyoake 21 Jul 09 6.32pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 5:17pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 5:14pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
One of the biggest lies in the world.
I've never promised that nor would I.
If I pluck up the courage,I'll tell it soon.
Trouble is Kingy,it's got built up now so there will be muchos disappointment mate.
DRT, we're all men of the world, there's probably not a story going that hasn't happened to one of us (and you know we won't laugh)  You tell yours and i'll tell one of my embarrassing stories, although it doesn't involve a bird failure, it does involve faeces 
Jel
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.
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| kingdowieonthewall Sussex, ex-Cronx. 21 Jul 09 6.38pm |
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Quote jelholyoake at 21 Jul 2009 6:32pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 5:17pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 5:14pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
One of the biggest lies in the world.
I've never promised that nor would I.
If I pluck up the courage,I'll tell it soon.
Trouble is Kingy,it's got built up now so there will be muchos disappointment mate.
DRT, we're all men of the world, there's probably not a story going that hasn't happened to one of us (and you know we won't laugh) You tell yours and i'll tell one of my embarrassing stories, although it doesn't involve a bird failure, it does involve faeces
Jel
pray tell Jel
(see if a good story can winkle him out)
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.
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| jelholyoake 21 Jul 09 6.41pm |
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Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 6:38pm
Quote jelholyoake at 21 Jul 2009 6:32pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 5:17pm
Quote kingdowieonthewall at 21 Jul 2009 5:14pm
Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 4:20pm
Class quip Moose.And I can assure you vultures that no faeces was involved.
Given everybodies already low esteem of me on this site,if I spilt the beans,that esteem would plummet even further.
What I will say is this-If there is a God,he saw what happened that night,which explains the miserable existence that I now lead today!
And with good reason.
*sniff*
I'm even more interested now, mr tache.
Was there gaffer tape involved?
Did you let a mate peep?
A case of 'i promise I wont come in your mouth'?
Rimming?
a snowball/feltching?
c'mon tache,grass yerslef up and we'll absolve you of the sin.
I've got a great 'peeps' story to swap you with.
One of the biggest lies in the world.
I've never promised that nor would I.
If I pluck up the courage,I'll tell it soon.
Trouble is Kingy,it's got built up now so there will be muchos disappointment mate.
DRT, we're all men of the world, there's probably not a story going that hasn't happened to one of us (and you know we won't laugh) You tell yours and i'll tell one of my embarrassing stories, although it doesn't involve a bird failure, it does involve faeces
Jel
pray tell Jel
(see if a good story can winkle him out)
I don't know if it's good, but give me a few mins to type it out.
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.
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| Don Rogers Tache hanging around the local Taco Bell... 21 Jul 09 6.53pm |
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Alright then,here goes.Oh dear.
I met this stunning sort in Rhodes.She was Swiss but with a yank accent(she was at UCLA if memory serves) She had dark brown hair,olive skin,2 legs,the lot.She was beautiful.I still have the odd one off the wrist thinking about her.I'd stayed in her hotel room for a couple of nights on the trot.I'd deserted my mates for a couple of days but they understood.
Anyhoo,on our third night together,we went to Playboy club somewhere on the island,where all me mates were going to as well.I'd been drinking all day and was getting rapidly more pissed as the night wore on.She took me over to a corner of this place for some canoodling.It was so farking hot that night,she had her mouth clamped over mine and I started to get dizzy from the heat and booze...and lack of air.I swear that I had no time to do anything about this.......I honked up straight in her mouth.......A lot!With all my mates watching.
On the plus side,not much of it went on my clothes.
There.Told ya you'd be disappointed and that I'm a scumbag.
I know you are but what am I?
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| kingdowieonthewall Sussex, ex-Cronx. 21 Jul 09 6.58pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 6:53pm
Alright then,here goes.Oh dear.
I met this stunning sort in Rhodes.She was Swiss but with a yank accent(she was at UCLA if memory serves) She had dark brown hair,olive skin,2 legs,the lot.She was beautiful.I still have the odd one off the wrist thinking about her.I'd stayed in her hotel room for a couple of nights on the trot.I'd deserted my mates for a couple of days but they understood.
Anyhoo,on our third night together,we went to Playboy club somewhere on the island,where all me mates were going to as well.I'd been drinking all day and was getting rapidly more pissed as the night wore on.She took me over to a corner of this place for some canoodling.It was so farking hot that night,she had her mouth clamped over mine and I started to get dizzy from the heat and booze...and lack of air.I swear that I had no time to do anything about this.......I honked up straight in her mouth.......A lot!With all my mates watching.
On the plus side,not much of it went on my clothes.
There.Told ya you'd be disappointed and that I'm a scumbag.
ha ha.
thats jap fetish s***.
(mods ban him)
you are absolved my painting friend.
I'm on the piss and cooking dinner for mrs KD now, but will spill my peeping story as promised tomorrow.
I think Jel is going to grass himself up later though.
Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.
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| MichaelCPFC Darlington, Up Norf! 21 Jul 09 6.58pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 6:53pm
Alright then,here goes.Oh dear.
I met this stunning sort in Rhodes.She was Swiss but with a yank accent(she was at UCLA if memory serves) She had dark brown hair,olive skin,2 legs,the lot.She was beautiful.I still have the odd one off the wrist thinking about her.I'd stayed in her hotel room for a couple of nights on the trot.I'd deserted my mates for a couple of days but they understood.
Anyhoo,on our third night together,we went to Playboy club somewhere on the island,where all me mates were going to as well.I'd been drinking all day and was getting rapidly more pissed as the night wore on.She took me over to a corner of this place for some canoodling.It was so farking hot that night,she had her mouth clamped over mine and I started to get dizzy from the heat and booze...and lack of air.I swear that I had no time to do anything about this.......I honked up straight in her mouth.......A lot!With all my mates watching.
On the plus side,not much of it went on my clothes.
There.Told ya you'd be disappointed and that I'm a scumbag.
Its not that bad! i was expecting much much worse!
This club of mine constantly tests my loyalty but I as do many other fans never falter or crumble My loyalty to the Palace will never waver My unadulterated passion for a club I’ve grown up supporting wont die, and my desire to keep coming back and take the blows won’t succumb to negativity
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| jelholyoake 21 Jul 09 7.00pm |
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Twas about 1 in the morning and i was woken by the sound of wretching in the toilet. I felt to my right and my woman wasn't there so i put 2 and 2 together and came up with her barking her bits up.
Now the site of someone or even the smell of sick, makes me wanna bark, but, being the dutiful husband i decided to go and see if she was alright. As i opened the toilet door, there she was on her hands and knees praying to the toilet and making these God awful noises and whimpering at the same time. I took a step forward (i was naked) and put a comforting hand on her back as well as telling her she would be ok whilst leaning against the wall (one hand over my mouth, the other pinching my nose. Now as anyone who has had gastro blah blah will know that it's a bit nasty, but i was there for her.
I was starting to fall asleep when all of a sudden all the muscles in her body went haywire and there was the sound of sick and another sound of 'splatt'. I looked down and my bits were literally covered in s***. I barked immediately and legged it into the bathroom where i grabbed the shower head to wash this cow pat that was festooned upon me. I started to be sick as the smell hit me, then was sick again as the smell from her sick hit me. It took me an hour to get completely clean. I went downstairs to drink some milk to settle my stomach and get a clean towel to put over my face. When i got back upstairs our bathroom and toilet looked like a major illness zone...and she was fast asleep in bed. The smell was unbelievable making me sleep downstairs continuously spraying lynx to negate 'upstairs'. To compound everything i woke at 6 a.m to my elderly labrador licking my face, which wasn't nice as every time i saw him he was licking his balls and arse.
All these years later we laugh about it, it always makes a funny BBQ story.
Would have been better if it had happened to someone else though.
Jel
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.
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| jelholyoake 21 Jul 09 7.06pm |
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Quote Don Rogers Tache at 21 Jul 2009 6:53pm
Alright then,here goes.Oh dear.
I met this stunning sort in Rhodes.She was Swiss but with a yank accent(she was at UCLA if memory serves) She had dark brown hair,olive skin,2 legs,the lot.She was beautiful.I still have the odd one off the wrist thinking about her.I'd stayed in her hotel room for a couple of nights on the trot.I'd deserted my mates for a couple of days but they understood.
Anyhoo,on our third night together,we went to Playboy club somewhere on the island,where all me mates were going to as well.I'd been drinking all day and was getting rapidly more pissed as the night wore on.She took me over to a corner of this place for some canoodling.It was so farking hot that night,she had her mouth clamped over mine and I started to get dizzy from the heat and booze...and lack of air.I swear that I had no time to do anything about this.......I honked up straight in her mouth.......A lot!With all my mates watching.
On the plus side,not much of it went on my clothes.
There.Told ya you'd be disappointed and that I'm a scumbag.
That's quality mate, made me larf lots
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.
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