I cannot recall the last occasion when I was in a state of sheer intoxication but I recall an incident from yesteryear.

Following a day at the racecourse with some gentlemen where sobriety was certainly NOT on the agenda we retired to a public house for a continuation of our alcoholic spree.
I was in a temulent state and contacted my then girlfriend by telephone requesting a lift back to my abode as I was in need of slumber.When the lady entered the establishment,I had completely forgotten about the request that I made and concluded bizarrely that she was 'Muscling in' on a gentlemens day out and I was rather irate with her to say the least bellowing out words to the effect "You are checking up on me"! The lady did an about-turn, left the public house and I had to pay for a taxi home.Our relationship was somewhat short-lived.

Very good ! Tips hat.

I have no recollection of subjecting someone of the 'Fairer sex' to vomitus.

Edited by Willo (04 Nov 2020 4.03pm)

This reminds me of an experience, I believe in 1977.
I had attended the Hull game at Selhurst Park - we lost 1-0 and the 'Heavens' opened during the game.

Afterwards, following a protracted period of consuming intoxicating liquids I boarded the wrong train and to my horror found myself at St Mary Cray station where I had to take a taxi ride home.
Opened the door and stepped on sodden carpets - we had been flooded!
A truly awful day.