Not a very good come back that one mate.....come in zignzag try harder

FEELING GLAD ALL OVER

3 seasons ago we would have had the thread taken down thinkin someone was piss taking! ..... i think with a little love and real fans behind him it could work. although i think its bs!

He needs TLC (appreciation and encouragement) to overcome his difficulty - of easily getting Liverpool first team game time and, therefore, at risk of being over-looked by the Italy Manager. Could benefit from AP's tactical skills - played for Palace as needed - with no hint of being punished for being naughty. Joining Palace would be his choice - for which we could expect him (lower wages) and Liverpool (lower transfer fee) to pay. He and they need to recognise that he is getting older - and needs an opportunity for success. As always, I trust AP and SP to do what is best for Palace.

Absolutely toxic player.

We'll steer well clear if we have any sense at all.

There are two kinds of person in this world:
1) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

Is it wrong that part of me wants this to happen?

On one hand, he is the quintessential maverick, a liability and a bit of a headcase. On the other, he's immensely talented.

Problem is, we need our lone striker to work hard. Not exactly how you'd describe Balotelli's game.

So, I suggest the following:

Mario signs, turns up for training in a go-kart, with a gimp on a leash, a grin that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame and enough fireworks for Chinese New Year.

Ledley, Jedi and McArthur grab him, pin him to the wall and "welcome" him to the team. Pardew sees this, ushers Balotelli into his office and puts an arm round him. Blood pouring from his face, he leaves for home, and reflects on his career so far. Eureka! Balotelli has an epiphany, and returns the following day and trains harder than he has ever trained. Impressed, Pardew starts him against Norwich, and Mario gives Suarez a run for his money in the "Let's score worldies against Norwich" competition, running himself into the ground, earning the respect of his peers and admiration from the fans.

His career rejuvenated, Balotelli goes on to fire Palace into the Champions League, and Pardew is heralded as the man who tamed the beast.

Woy does the right thing, and stands down just before Euro 2016, with Pardew quickly installed as England manager. Against the odds, England win the competition. Upon collecting their winners medals, Pardew causes the biggest sporting scandal in football when he headbutts Platini before disappearing into the sunset with two Crystals on his arm.

Mario Balotelli later forms a rap group with Yannick Bolasie and Wilfried Zaha.

Now, some of this may never happen, but with Balotelli in the side, you're never quite sure what could happen.

RED AND BLUE ARMY!

Reports suggest he's going to Fiorentina either on loan or a swap depending on what you read.

There is no chance of this happening as we wouldn't be able to meet his wage demands.

Despite of all the claims about his attitude I can't help wondering how much a defence will panic with Zaha, Bolasie and Balotelli running at them at the same time knowing how unpredictable all 3 can be. Especially if they are provided a service from Cabaye.