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BlueJay ![]() |
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Popping this here as I was half way through collating it already and now it has no home
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde “A walk through the depths of that man’s soul would hardly wet the ankles of one’s feet.” “She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".” "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.." - Mae West. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912). "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho
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Can get a bit too high brow this thread, so... I rang that new 'Rape helpline' the other day. Apparently though, it's only for victims.
Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!! |
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A bit late for Easter but... According to the Bible, Jesus turned water into red and white wine. He did rose from the dead.
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Sir Les Patterson being less outrageous than usual.
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One of the best that video.
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It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Glad All Over |
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My boss said to me, “you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” I said, “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”
Glad All Over |
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Bloke goes into a pub and is startled to see £50,000.00 behind the bar. He asks some questions and is told the money could be his after putting down £10.00 and completing three challenges. He asks and is told the challenges:- He is not sure about the challenges and walks away. He returns and puts down his £10.00.
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BlueJay ![]() |
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I used to love tractors, now I don’t. You could say I’m an ex-tractor fan
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Gloria Gaynor invited six people round for dinner but one didn’t turn up. “That’s OK” she told her guests, “I will serve five…”.
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Nurse, I cant feel my legs. That's because we've amputated your arms.
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Saw the following in The Times this morning. Made me chuckle. 'As Boris Johnson recovers from an operation on his nose yesterday,he will for once have something in common with the RMT.
Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled. |
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