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I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

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HLPCP99 Flag Keynsham 11 Sep 21 5.27pm Send a Private Message to HLPCP99 Add HLPCP99 as a friend

My favourite ever joke (barring the legend that is Bill Hicks) was from Stuart Francis. My psychologist says I have a vindictive nature..yeah, we’ll see about that!

 

Enjoy The Ride!
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BudgiesBeak Flag London 29 Sep 21 6.20pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

Mick Jagger recently bought a farm in Scotland.
The day after he moved in, he looked out the window and saw his new neighbour getting rather amorous with one of his sheep.
He opened the window and shouted "Hey, Mcleod, get off of my ewe!"

 
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Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 29 Sep 21 6.26pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Originally posted by BudgiesBeak

Mick Jagger recently bought a farm in Scotland.
The day after he moved in, he looked out the window and saw his new neighbour getting rather amorous with one of his sheep.
He opened the window and shouted "Hey, Mcleod, get off of my ewe!"

Yep, I chuckled.

 

Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.
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Zimeagle Flag Harare 03 Oct 21 9.07am Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying 4 crates of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 3 sombreros.
I thought to myself.......Hispanic buying.

 
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Zimeagle Flag Harare 18 Oct 21 11.44am Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

Did you know that Yul Brynner was a Liverpool fan? Oh....and despite shaving his head, he never wore after shave?
That's right... Yul never wore cologne.

 
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BudgiesBeak Flag London 02 Nov 21 9.21am Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

My mate set me up on a blind date.
He said "She's a nice girl, but there's something you should know..... she's expecting a baby".
I have to say I felt a complete t*** walking into the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!

 
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NEILLO Flag Shoreham-by-Sea 02 Nov 21 9.51am Send a Private Message to NEILLO Add NEILLO as a friend

I've got 2 dogs, Rolex and Timex.

They're watch dogs

 

Old, Ungifted and White
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CrazyBadger Flag Ware 02 Nov 21 10.55am Send a Private Message to CrazyBadger Add CrazyBadger as a friend

A wife wanted to spice Up their sex lie with a bit of Cosplay.

So as her husband was a fan of comics, she donned a cape and a mask and waited for him to enter the bedroom.
when he did she jumped on him and shouted "SUPER v*****!"

the husband took one look at her and said...

I'll have the Soup.

 

"It was a Team effort, I guess it took all players working together to lose this one"
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mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 02 Nov 21 11.39am Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Originally posted by NEILLO

I've got 2 dogs, Rolex and Timex.

They're watch dogs

Are you on a wind up with that joke?

 

Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.
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NEILLO Flag Shoreham-by-Sea 02 Nov 21 11.54am Send a Private Message to NEILLO Add NEILLO as a friend

Originally posted by mezzer

Are you on a wind up with that joke?

I was going to save it for Boxpark on Saturday just to see your face

 

Old, Ungifted and White
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mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 02 Nov 21 12.12pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Originally posted by NEILLO

I was going to save it for Boxpark on Saturday just to see your face

I'll come and Seiko you out if you're there

 

Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.
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NEILLO Flag Shoreham-by-Sea 02 Nov 21 1.17pm Send a Private Message to NEILLO Add NEILLO as a friend

Originally posted by mezzer

I'll come and Seiko you out if you're there

Yeah, Weil be there about 1pm

 

Old, Ungifted and White
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