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madcap_v2 SE25 / Ibiza 14 Jan 21 7.07pm | |
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Originally posted by Stirlingsays
Your parent's generation had a very different environment....and plenty were depressed then as now. I'd say be your own worst critic but also your biggest fan. Make an honest appraisal of yourself and what you think is realistically possible for you to achieve in life. Then live by your own standards and expectations based upon that. Treat doing what's best for yourself (obviously without looking to hurt others) as a job. Don't let life just be a series of events that happens to you, try to shape them. Edited by Stirlingsays (14 Jan 2021 6.53pm) Very good advice this
La la la your mum |
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rob1969 Banstead Surrey 14 Jan 21 7.14pm | |
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Originally posted by chris123
Me too - and having very low expectations does help. Agree unrealistic expectations have a lot to answer for these days. As Palace supporters we know how they can lead to depressing disappointment ,
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BlueJay UK 14 Jan 21 8.23pm | |
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Credit to Tom for thinking of others. The lockdown has done a number on many. We get this chocolate box pushed at us where we're all supposed to be 'so much more grateful now', but clearly it's more complicated than that. The knock on issues (employment, family problems, schooling) brought to the fore are on top of often far from idyllic realities that were all part and parcel of everyday life anyway. And with plenty of time to dwell and new cruel realities to consider (such as keeping distance from elderly family members) I doubt there's many left entirely mentally untroubled. I did have a bit of a financial windfall of late (nothing mind boggling), but really didn't give a to$s. Also, mentally I've somehow managed to queue up enough problems that I feel things will be sh!tty even after this particular cloud has lifted. So these probably are signs of an ever more gloomy outlook developing. It's certainly a good time to take stock and plan though and I think as the world opens back up I'll be more inclined to view the upside and opportunities rather than mope. Anyway, back to the game . Edited by BlueJay (14 Jan 2021 8.24pm)
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cryrst The garden of England 14 Jan 21 9.19pm | |
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Originally posted by BlueJay
Credit to Tom for thinking of others. The lockdown has done a number on many. We get this chocolate box pushed at us where we're all supposed to be 'so much more grateful now', but clearly it's more complicated than that. The knock on issues (employment, family problems, schooling) brought to the fore are on top of often far from idyllic realities that were all part and parcel of everyday life anyway. And with plenty of time to dwell and new cruel realities to consider (such as keeping distance from elderly family members) I doubt there's many left entirely mentally untroubled. I did have a bit of a financial windfall of late (nothing mind boggling), but really didn't give a to$s. Also, mentally I've somehow managed to queue up enough problems that I feel things will be sh!tty even after this particular cloud has lifted. So these probably are signs of an ever more gloomy outlook developing. It's certainly a good time to take stock and plan though and I think as the world opens back up I'll be more inclined to view the upside and opportunities rather than mope. Anyway, back to the game . Edited by BlueJay (14 Jan 2021 8.24pm) How much then as you want to say really
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cryrst The garden of England 14 Jan 21 9.22pm | |
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Originally posted by Stirlingsays
There are many great women out there, it's about luck, what you can attract/get and judgement. However I completely agree with you. Neither the system or the elites that created it or their middle class idealogs running it give a damn about the working class male, especially the white one. 'Those women' cost money and charge per half hour though Stirling. Or am I on the wrong track !!!!
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DanH SW2 14 Jan 21 10.19pm | |
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Originally posted by Stirlingsays
Your parent's generation had a very different environment....and plenty were depressed then as now. I'd say be your own worst critic but also your biggest fan. Make an honest appraisal of yourself and what you think is realistically possible for you to achieve in life. Then live by your own standards and expectations based upon that. Treat doing what's best for yourself (obviously without looking to hurt others) as a job. Don't let life just be a series of events that happens to you, try to shape them. Edited by Stirlingsays (14 Jan 2021 6.53pm) Blimey Stirling, couldn’t agree more with every word. Nice post.
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BlueJay UK 14 Jan 21 11.32pm | |
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Originally posted by cryrst
How much then as you want to say really lol . A few grand on the premium bonds of all things, which can mean a lot especially in these times. But the point was more that a year back I'd have been dancing around the living room about it whereas it didn't really bring about a reaction, which in itself was a little unnerving.
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BlueJay UK 14 Jan 21 11.32pm | |
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Originally posted by DanH
Blimey Stirling, couldn’t agree more with every word. Nice post. Yes, I agree, nice words and meaningful advice that can apply to all. Edited by BlueJay (14 Jan 2021 11.33pm)
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Stirlingsays 15 Jan 21 2.01am | |
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Originally posted by cryrst
'Those women' cost money and charge per half hour though Stirling. Or am I on the wrong track !!!! Quite possibly. Reminds me of a quote from George Best, 'I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.' Ultimately, while I'm a social conservative on certain topics life is how you see it for yourself. Edited by Stirlingsays (15 Jan 2021 2.33am)
'Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' (Leslie Nielsen) |
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cryrst The garden of England 15 Jan 21 4.52am | |
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Originally posted by BlueJay
lol . A few grand on the premium bonds of all things, which can mean a lot especially in these times. But the point was more that a year back I'd have been dancing around the living room about it whereas it didn't really bring about a reaction, which in itself was a little unnerving. Hitting the comfort zone maybe be worse than trying to get there ! As del boys mum says
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DanH SW2 15 Jan 21 11.30am | |
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Originally posted by BlueJay
Yes, I agree, nice words and meaningful advice that can apply to all. Edited by BlueJay (14 Jan 2021 11.33pm) Always knew he was a big softy snowflake really.
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kennybrowns leftfoot Reigate 15 Jan 21 6.37pm | |
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Great thread Tom. My attitude towards mental health has certainly changed over the last 4 years or so... With the job that I did it was common to have a negative attitude towards it and very much a mindset of 'get on with it'... I used to laugh at it if I'm honest and just assumed it was all a bit made up. My car accident in 2016 changed all that and in 2017 I was diagnosed with severe PTSD. Something I always assumed only military people got. It changed my life and I struggled for a long time. The attitude of my employers didnt help and you are viewed as weak and generally laughed at a bit. I have changed as a person and sadly the diagnosis did play a part in my marriage break up but I also dont hide behind that either. It's always important we accept responsibility for our actions and choices to. I have given talks at schools in Croydon about PTSD and mental health in the emergency services which I have thoroughly enjoyed giving and I hope to do more.
Don't waste your time with jealousy. Sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind, the race is long. But in the end it's only with yourself!! |
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