Hate to be a pendant but you mean the ABBA song 'I Have a Dream', which Westlife admittedly covered.

Sorry to be all 'Doctor Pop' about it but I'm an old fart so just humour me!!

Anyhoo, back to the topic in hand.

At the very back of Block M there's a squeaky voiced bloke who keeps spouting out the same phrases.

His favourites are 'On his case' and 'Get hold of these scroats'.

A few seats down is a bloke whose young son keeps kicking my mates seat and thinks it's funny to leave chewing gum on seats.

I wasn't aware smoking was allowed at all in the stadium, cheers for pointing that out. Whenever i sit in the arthur i get a bit pissed when someone lights up next to me (i dont say anything) but seeing as you've pointed this out it would appear its me own fault for not taking notice of the signs!!

I get a lot of people sitting near me who constantly boo any single mistake, hence why i like to sit in the arthur wait... some new hardcore supporters are there and theyre nutty chants every game make me laugh, especially the jibes against away supporters! I recommend sitting there at least once

Check out our Croydon-based football comedy series 'Road to F.A. Cup'!
All episodes available FREE here: [Link]

I know it's a bit off subject (an away game) but sat behind the drunkest nutters ever when Judas was in charge and we beat Wolves away. Me and my missus were sat behind these drunk guys, one of them turned round to give the vs to the hospiality boxes behind us as we'd just gone 1 - 0 up. He then started pointing at his knob, asking if they wanted him to get it out, he got it out and then toppled straight over into my missus' lap, all she could do was stand there and say - get him off - all I could do was laugh and pushed them back gently and they fell over in a heap - marvellous!!! - don't suppose they'd remember if they come on here cos they were so drunk!!!!

I sat next to this woman in Block H of the Holmesdale - a little porky and a lot strange. She had this Tesco bag with her and never stopped eating. Funniest moment was when she pulled out this cake with 'Serves 8' on the side of the box. She picked it up and ate the whole fcuking thing!

She also kept turning round trying to get eye contact with anyone and then they were doomed to 20 minutes of inane ramblings whilst having bits of chocolate sprayed over them.

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

I think I seem to get more than my fair share of nutters, I've had a season ticket in the Arthur Wait for about 18 years (since being knee high to a grasshopper) and I think my all time favourite neighbour was this bloke who would moan constantly for 90 minutes no matter who had the ball (Palace or otherwise)! His best one was when Brighty knocked the ball down to Ian Wright and was met with a cry of "No Palace that's useless" only for Wright to round three players and slot it in the goal. To give him his due though, we was screaming like a banshee and jumping around like a loon like the rest of us when it went in!

The trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots