Ode to Bono's bad back

You've always struck me as a dodgy cunt
Creepy and oily and crafty
Bad back? to pull the punters in it's just a stunt
If true though, you big nosed cunt
Get the docs to perform some rhynoplasty.

I know you are but what am I?

An Ode To Bono

Bono your existence is extremely c*nty,
Your very breath makes me oh so punchy,
Why can't you hear the one world's cry:
GO AWAY AND F*CKING DIE.

Your gut is increasingly displaying podginess,
In direct ratio to your tax return's dodginess,
The fat cat you so vehemently dis-eulogise,
Is epitomised by you, so please do euthanise.

Your songs are sh*te and your sound is plastic,
Without a sound tech. you sound like a spastic,
So please, please, please, do us all a big favour,
And hang yourself with some hemp from a Fair Trader.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

Ode to Spellbound

you ain't pop stars
I'll be bound
but your about as athletic
as the swansea physio
the one what was round

Shane McGowan's got something missing.
Like..teeth. Who be mad enough to kiss him?

When the time comes, I want die just like my Dad - at peace and asleep.
Not screaming and terrified.
Like his passengers.

When you're young its hip and OK,
But now that you're in middle-age,
Give it a rest. Call a halt. Make it stop.
Because a 'Boy' George you certainly are not.
The name needs work and condensing,
We all have to do it, ask 'Kid' Jensen.

When the time comes, I want die just like my Dad - at peace and asleep.
Not screaming and terrified.
Like his passengers.

The Fiddler On The Roof Of The World

This Is It said Michael to the Arch Angel Gabriel,
As he pulled down his pants and put his willy on the table,
The heavenly body and boyish looks so handsome,
Had Michael as hard as a Colombian ransom.

As he pushed into his anus the angel tried to fly,
But his struggles only earned him a massive creampie,
Attempting to escape at a heavenly rate,
Michael's orgasm simply failed to abate.

His sperm filled the digestive tract so full,
That his gag reflex began to pull,
From the pit of his stomach little Michael Jacksons,
Seminal fluid with little spermy hats on.

And so ends the fable of the angel up top,
Who dared to play strip poker with the King of Pop.

Edited by Mongo Like Clunge (28 Jun 2010 6:19pm)

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.