This page is no longer updated, and is the old forum. For new topics visit the New HOL forum.
I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2
Register | Edit Profile | Subscriptions | Forum Rules | Log In
 BudgiesBeak  London 19 Oct 19 11.32pm |
  |
|---|---|
|
“Will I be OK, doctor?”
|
|
 Alert a moderator to this post |
  |
| BudgiesBeak London 25 Dec 19 10.55pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Did I ever tell you the last words my father said to me before he kicked the bucket?
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
johnno42000  30 Dec 19 8.26pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Life isn't fair. I beat an egg then got thyme for it.
'Lies to the masses as are like fly's to mollasses...they want more and more and more' |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| BudgiesBeak London 12 Feb 20 6.59pm |
|
|---|---|
|
What's got 8 legs and one eye?
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
palace_in_frogland  In a broken dream 13 Feb 20 7.57pm |
|
|---|---|
|
I was chatting with a diver the other day. I asked him why they always fell backwards off the boat. He thought about it, and said “well, if we fell forwards, we’d still be in the boat.”
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| Forest Hillbilly in a hidey-hole 13 Feb 20 8.02pm |
|
|---|---|
|
what is brown and sticky,.....? .
I disengage, I turn the page. |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| HeathMan Purley 15 Feb 20 12.09am |
 |
|---|---|
|
Hopefully the copy and paste works. sadly drawings have not come across Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. as he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
Zimeagle  Harare 01 Mar 20 2.13pm |
|
|---|---|
|
A group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally, it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet. Finally, it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons because the waitresses were attractive, the food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent. Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally, it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons because there was plenty of parking, they cou;ld dine in peace and quiet with no loud music and it was good value for money. Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons because the restaurant had wheelchair access and had a toilet for the disabled. Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally, it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons because they had never been there before.
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| HeathMan Purley 02 Mar 20 12.40am |
|
|---|---|
|
Like
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| BudgiesBeak London 09 Mar 20 8.36am |
|
|---|---|
|
I went to the supermarket earlier today, and I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger pushing a trolley piled high with toilet rolls. I went up to him and said "Arnie, where did you get those loo rolls from?"
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
Nicholas91  The Democratic Republic of Kent 10 Mar 20 8.35am |
|
|---|---|
|
Originally posted by BudgiesBeak
I went to the supermarket earlier today, and I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger pushing a trolley piled high with toilet rolls. I went up to him and said "Arnie, where did you get those loo rolls from?" Funny I saw Arnie eating a Cadbury's cream egg at the weekend. I said to him "I bet I know what your favourite holiday of the year is!" and he said to me "You have to love Easter, baby!"
Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!! |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| HeathMan Purley 18 Mar 20 7.28am |
|
|---|---|
|
This may help to fill those hours we have to spend at home.
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
Login / RegisterNew users
Registration is now on our new message board
Existing users
To login with your existing username you will need to convert your account over to the new message board.
Sponsors
All images and text on this site are copyright © 1999-2024 The Holmesdale Online, unless otherwise stated.
Web Design by Guntrisoft Ltd.