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Have you ever been put into the 'Friend-zone' ?

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Rudi Hedman Flag Caterham 09 Sep 19 12.21am Send a Private Message to Rudi Hedman Add Rudi Hedman as a friend

Originally posted by Mapletree

You really don’t have female friends do you? Just wow.

You haven’t read my points. Female friends, yes, who’ve been in groups within groups etc, but not the kind that I’d now ring up and ask if they want to go out for a few pints later, no.

If you’re effeminate then you probably need females for friends and you fit in with the girls or a girl so it’ll work more.

It can create all sorts of issues this thing, when one or both of these platonic relationships are married or similar. If you think it doesn’t then you’re pretending or lying. By that I mean Platonic relationships you start when you’re married or similar, unless the platonic man friend is effeminate or of no threat or the woman a pig.

Edited by Rudi Hedman (09 Sep 2019 8.18am)

 


COYP

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Mapletree Flag Croydon 09 Sep 19 9.56am Send a Private Message to Mapletree Add Mapletree as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

You haven’t read my points. Female friends, yes, who’ve been in groups within groups etc, but not the kind that I’d now ring up and ask if they want to go out for a few pints later, no.

If you’re effeminate then you probably need females for friends and you fit in with the girls or a girl so it’ll work more.

It can create all sorts of issues this thing, when one or both of these platonic relationships are married or similar. If you think it doesn’t then you’re pretending or lying. By that I mean Platonic relationships you start when you’re married or similar, unless the platonic man friend is effeminate or of no threat or the woman a pig.

Edited by Rudi Hedman (09 Sep 2019 8.18am)

Please rest assured that I read your previous posts assiduously, including where you assert that Dan is effeminate due to having female friends

Also that women appear only to talk about 'gossip, who she's dating, her period cycle, her leg-shaving tips, the newest Kardashian episode'.

I wonder how you know this, given you don't have any female friends other than in groups where - apparently - those topics don't come up.

 

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ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 09 Sep 19 10.18am Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

Originally posted by Mapletree

Please rest assured that I read your previous posts assiduously, including where you assert that Dan is effeminate due to having female friends

Also that women appear only to talk about 'gossip, who she's dating, her period cycle, her leg-shaving tips, the newest Kardashian episode'.

I wonder how you know this, given you don't have any female friends other than in groups where - apparently - those topics don't come up.

exactly, stereotyping, there are plenty of women I know who are into motor mechanics, horse racing, real ale as well as 'don't tell the bride', it makes having a platonic relationship a lot easier

 

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Rudi Hedman Flag Caterham 09 Sep 19 12.53pm Send a Private Message to Rudi Hedman Add Rudi Hedman as a friend

Originally posted by Mapletree

Please rest assured that I read your previous posts assiduously, including where you assert that Dan is effeminate due to having female friends

Also that women appear only to talk about 'gossip, who she's dating, her period cycle, her leg-shaving tips, the newest Kardashian episode'.

I wonder how you know this, given you don't have any female friends other than in groups where - apparently - those topics don't come up.

That reddit post was actually by someone else and I copied and pasted it here. I don’t actually think, believe or agree with that part but they do like to gossip a serious amount (sometimes get more sexually explicit in talking) and sometimes can talk about their feelings to the point where it’s probably exhausting for men. It’s a good that they do, but no need to obsess over feelings.

I bet if you ask people if they have a platonic friend of the opposite sex they’d ring up on the spur of the moment for a drink they haven’t got one. It would have to be planned, like an acquaintance.

I didn’t assert Dan was effeminate due to having female friends. I just said ‘effeminate male has female friends who are his best friends.’ Slight difference.

Anyway, most men hanging around one particular female on a regular basis wants to get into her pants. It may not be so in younger people but it would become more and more odd as the female gets a partner and he is still hanging around, which is where the point really was in the first place. The female would be nowhere to be found usually as she bins off the hang on ow she has the boyfriend she wants.

Didn’t you say you fell into the friend zone in the past? I can’t remember who it was tbh.

 


COYP

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Mapletree Flag Croydon 09 Sep 19 1.06pm Send a Private Message to Mapletree Add Mapletree as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

That reddit post was actually by someone else and I copied and pasted it here. I don’t actually think, believe or agree with that part but they do like to gossip a serious amount (sometimes get more sexually explicit in talking) and sometimes can talk about their feelings to the point where it’s probably exhausting for men. It’s a good that they do, but no need to obsess over feelings.

I bet if you ask people if they have a platonic friend of the opposite sex they’d ring up on the spur of the moment for a drink they haven’t got one. It would have to be planned, like an acquaintance.

I didn’t assert Dan was effeminate due to having female friends. I just said ‘effeminate male has female friends who are his best friends.’ Slight difference.

Anyway, most men hanging around one particular female on a regular basis wants to get into her pants. It may not be so in younger people but it would become more and more odd as the female gets a partner and he is still hanging around, which is where the point really was in the first place. The female would be nowhere to be found usually as she bins off the hang on ow she has the boyfriend she wants.

Didn’t you say you fell into the friend zone in the past? I can’t remember who it was tbh.

What I said was on multiple occasions I fell into the friend zone. Very often 'with benefits'. Some people are lucky that they can get 'it' alot. Such people don't really care if their female friends are 'with benefits' or 'not with benefits'. They aren't terribly desperate.

Those people that can't have one-on-one relationships with those of the opposite sex unless they are sexual do - in my experience - come across as somewhat needy and not people with whom many women are comfortable.

Ergo, if DanH has strong female friends it is likely he is getting so much of 'it' that he can just relax and also have platonic relationships. Good for DanH, a Sex God it seems.

 

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Rudi Hedman Flag Caterham 09 Sep 19 1.40pm Send a Private Message to Rudi Hedman Add Rudi Hedman as a friend

Originally posted by Mapletree

What I said was on multiple occasions I fell into the friend zone. Very often 'with benefits'. Some people are lucky that they can get 'it' alot. Such people don't really care if their female friends are 'with benefits' or 'not with benefits'. They aren't terribly desperate.

Those people that can't have one-on-one relationships with those of the opposite sex unless they are sexual do - in my experience - come across as somewhat needy and not people with whom many women are comfortable.

Ergo, if DanH has strong female friends it is likely he is getting so much of 'it' that he can just relax and also have platonic relationships. Good for DanH, a Sex God it seems.

What you’ve said can be true but is quite a generalisation as well. Because a man has male friends it doesn’t necessarily make him uncomfortable or needy but I think I know what you mean. However, I’ve also seen Klingon friend zoned males who even more needy. (In spiritual yoga there is a focus and healthier objective for a man to cut ties with his mother and partner so that he is less in need and reliant on her. Man needs a woman. He is still attached to the mother)

I’ve had the benefits before the ‘friends.’

You’ve described your younger years, not your current years.

Do you agree that there can be issues with having an opposite sex friend you spend a lot of time with, one on one, without your partner? It would be a bit odd or suspicious if a married person found an opposite sex friend they were spending so much time with away from their opposite sex partner.

Dan was a student. I think he is virtually married after moving to Chelmsford near his girlfriend’s family or something.

 


COYP

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PalazioVecchio Flag south pole 09 Sep 19 1.48pm Send a Private Message to PalazioVecchio Add PalazioVecchio as a friend

read through the literature.
It is not uncommon to receive marriage proposals from a person who has put you into their friendzone.

simultaneously hilarious and utter utter madness.

 


Kayla did Anfield & Old Trafford

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Mapletree Flag Croydon 09 Sep 19 1.49pm Send a Private Message to Mapletree Add Mapletree as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

Do you agree that there can be issues with having an opposite sex friend you spend a lot of time with, one on one, without your partner? It would be a bit odd or suspicious if a married person found an opposite sex friend they were spending so much time with away from their opposite sex partner.

Hmm, that's known as going to work.

Yup, several. Including trips abroad.

Jealousy can always appear whether a friend is the same or opposite sex if you don't pay attention to your other half.

As an older person the same stuff applies, it's just I don't have multiple beneficial relationships.

 

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ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 09 Sep 19 1.49pm Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

What you’ve said can be true but is quite a generalisation as well. Because a man has male friends it doesn’t necessarily make him uncomfortable or needy but I think I know what you mean. However, I’ve also seen Klingon friend zoned males who even more needy. (In spiritual yoga there is a focus and healthier objective for a man to cut ties with his mother and partner so that he is less in need and reliant on her. Man needs a woman. He is still attached to the mother)

I’ve had the benefits before the ‘friends.’

You’ve described your younger years, not your current years.

Do you agree that there can be issues with having an opposite sex friend you spend a lot of time with, one on one, without your partner? It would be a bit odd or suspicious if a married person found an opposite sex friend they were spending so much time with away from their opposite sex partner.

Dan was a student. I think he is virtually married after moving to Chelmsford near his girlfriend’s family or something.


most other halves don't want you to see anyone male or female, they just want to keep you in the bunker and b*llock you all day long irrespective of the gender/sexual preference/transitionality-tolerance of your friends

 

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DanH Flag SW2 09 Sep 19 1.56pm Send a Private Message to DanH Add DanH as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

What you’ve said can be true but is quite a generalisation as well. Because a man has male friends it doesn’t necessarily make him uncomfortable or needy but I think I know what you mean. However, I’ve also seen Klingon friend zoned males who even more needy. (In spiritual yoga there is a focus and healthier objective for a man to cut ties with his mother and partner so that he is less in need and reliant on her. Man needs a woman. He is still attached to the mother)

I’ve had the benefits before the ‘friends.’

You’ve described your younger years, not your current years.

Do you agree that there can be issues with having an opposite sex friend you spend a lot of time with, one on one, without your partner? It would be a bit odd or suspicious if a married person found an opposite sex friend they were spending so much time with away from their opposite sex partner.

Dan was a student. I think he is virtually married after moving to Chelmsford near his girlfriend’s family or something.

I am married now And I'm 33 next month so those student days are unfortunately long gone.

 

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Stirlingsays Flag 09 Sep 19 2.02pm Send a Private Message to Stirlingsays Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add Stirlingsays as a friend

Originally posted by Rudi Hedman

You haven’t read my points. Female friends, yes, who’ve been in groups within groups etc, but not the kind that I’d now ring up and ask if they want to go out for a few pints later, no.

If you’re effeminate then you probably need females for friends and you fit in with the girls or a girl so it’ll work more.

It can create all sorts of issues this thing, when one or both of these platonic relationships are married or similar. If you think it doesn’t then you’re pretending or lying. By that I mean Platonic relationships you start when you’re married or similar, unless the platonic man friend is effeminate or of no threat or the woman a pig.

Edited by Rudi Hedman (09 Sep 2019 8.18am)

Yep, more common sense.

 


'Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' (Leslie Nielsen)

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Stirlingsays Flag 09 Sep 19 2.05pm Send a Private Message to Stirlingsays Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add Stirlingsays as a friend

Originally posted by ex hibitionist

exactly, stereotyping, there are plenty of women I know who are into motor mechanics, horse racing, real ale as well as 'don't tell the bride', it makes having a platonic relationship a lot easier

'Plenty'?

I very much doubt that 'plenty' is the reality.....well with motor mechanics I know that's very much a minority female interest....Whereas horse racing has always had female interest.

 


'Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.' (Leslie Nielsen)

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