How did you overcome the restraints of Space time consistency, displayed in the Eninstien-Rosen-Podolsky bridge - the only real theory that allows for time travel, between two fixed points. Effectively, that you can only time travel to a point in which time travel exists to receive you (i.e. a fixed point created by the exit portal).

Otherwise, you create a situation in which time travellers must have travelled to points before this time, specifically, without revealing themselves, and as you have clearly revealed yourself, deception of the masses is not required (as future time travellers after you would be just as indiscrete).

I'd like to know, because I had an absolute change to bang Becky Roberts who was a) really fit b) really into me, when I was 18, and I'd like to have a few words with my 17 year old self.

Only I can't seem to get beyond the limitations of the Einstein-Rosen-Podolsky requirements of fixed established points in space-time.

I'm afraid the time travel industry is heavily regulated, so I'm unable to give the result of the Southampton game or horse racing results.

Here's one clue though. Don't bet on Jeremy Corbyn becoming prime minister

Time travel will never ever be invented.

If it was, we'd know about it, right?

It's probably no surprise to you that time travel was invented in The Future.

So I hope you're not too spooked by my appearance.

I don't want to spoil the ending, but football has been absolutely ruined in my century.

It's now run by agents, corporate lawyers, marketing managers and Malaysian betting syndicates.

I just want to ask. When did the rot set in at Palace?

Was there a moment when you thought: that's it, the game will never recover from this.

Historians say Crystal Palace football club was ruined by the modernising efforts of Malcolm Allison, who took over from Bert Head.

Head used to play the traditional 2, 3, 5 formation (two full backs, three wing backs and five forwards) and footballs were made of super absorbent leather held together my a massive lace. If you made the mistake of heading a wet football you would be rendered unconscious. That's if the knot from the lace didn't puncture your forehead.

The history blogs I've read say that only eunuchs were allowed to guard 'The Wall' at free kicks, as they'd already sacrificed their reproductive capacity anyway.

But all this heritage was to be swept away by a terrible period of so called 'reforms' that de-humanised the game, say witnesses.

Allison's fancy dan ideas, such as using Derek Jeffries as a sweeper (ha!) was a modernising step too far for many purists.

When did football get ruined for you?

TO PROVE I AM A TIME TRAVELLER, LET ME TELL YUOU THE RESULT OF THE SOUTHAMPTON GAME, WHICH HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

PALACE LOSE TWO NIL

THAT NEWS, WHILE SAD, IS PUT INTO CONTEXT BY A MASSIVE GLOBAL CATASTROPHE, AS THE MARRIAGE OF ANGELINA JOLIE TO BRAD PITT IS REPORTED TO HAVE BROKEN DOWN.

ISIS HAS CLAIMED RESPONSIBILITY AND THE PENTAGON HAS NOT DENIED IT

Edited by OhthisbloodyPC (22 Sep 2016 7.48am)