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Stuart Shave Hampshire 11 Jun 14 10.30pm | |
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Quote doi209 at 11 Jun 2014 10.28pm
Not an easy post, but well done for it. I'd go along with the exercise suggestion. If you can, go for a run. Endorphins are a natural painkiller and will give a 'runners high'. Force yourself to go for a run - you'll benefit. Thank you. Yes lots of walking, running and swimming is on the cards.
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Southampton_Eagle At the after party 11 Jun 14 10.32pm | |
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Quote Stuart Shave at 11 Jun 2014 10.28pm
Thanks Legaleagle, some sound advice. I found out about MIND tonight and have it on my list to call them tomorrow. Southampton Eagle, thanks also. Yes they do seem to cause us men all sorts of bother. And thanks for making me laugh with your last paragraph.
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on me shed son Krakow 11 Jun 14 10.38pm | |
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The best thing I found when I went through some similar stuff is to work on moving on. Small practical steps in changing your life. Focus on your relationship with your son and cherish the time you do spend with him rather than focusing on the time you don't. Also finding a new job will help get you out of the house etc. And I would be very discerning when choosing a new partner. Stability and boredom will always beat drama in the long run. The big but though is that everyone is different and what has helped others may not help you, so as someone else has said listen to the pros most of all. Regarding the meds the most important thing is to have a proper discussion with your doctor about any doubts you may have and also do some research. Hope this helps.
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The White Horse 11 Jun 14 10.42pm | |
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Normally my advice would be Peep Show style life coaching catchphrases like "pull your pants down and stick it in". Possibly one of the few scenarios here where that isn't the solution, so I'd go with whatever the doctor orders (s)he is the expert.
"The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity.” Stewart Lee |
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Stuart Shave Hampshire 11 Jun 14 10.44pm | |
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Who would've thought Sylvester Stallone could provide something so inspirational to me in my predicament.
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shannegraney7 New Addo/St Ives cambs 11 Jun 14 10.49pm | |
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Hi Stuart, I hope what I write can help you in some way, sometimes the smallest bit of info can be the biggest help in people's situations. At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with depression, due to growing up not to good with family troubles, firstly when I was 9 my mum and dad seperated but witnessed this horribly with it being physical, being bullied physically an mentally by a older brother at home and by kids at school. The worst thing I think or now know that affected me was not seeing my dad after the split with my mum, we lived in Cambridge after moving from Croydon but my dad went back to Croydon an didnt see him for years, apart from when I was 12 when out of the blue he came to pick me up an take me to Palaces open day. Which is where a lot of my love for palace comes from, as well as being born in Croydon, crystal palace fc was all I had to remind me of my dad, the man I looked up to an loved so much an for one day for him to disappear with no explanation, it messed me up but being 10 yrs old I had no idea how it affected me til my late teens, an putting up with some abuse along the way. Which is why at 16 I was alcohol reliant couldn't leave the house I lived in with my mum until she dragged me to the doctors for help, I sat as my mum an doc spoke, I sat twisting a palace wooley hat in my hands so anxious an nervous. The doctor wanted to put me on Valium my mum said no way because she knew the down sides to them tabs an instead agreed to put me on diazepam to help me calm down an stop shaking enabling me to get out the house an get a job. That was the start for me but still knew I had to help myself. I ended up getting a painting an decorating apprenticeship which is what my dad done for a job, but still not seeing him at this point. I finished my apprenticeship an got in contact with my dad in Croydon still at this point in my life suffering with the anxiety an a bit depressed. I found all I wanted to do was move back to Croydon to be with my dad and crystal palace, I made the move an it was the best thing I done in my life, making the move to Croydon was what gave me my confidence an stopped the over projecting thinking in my head. Sorry rambling on a bit now but my point is make your son your priority you have to be strong for him and to help the depression try new things in life to distract the mind so you gradually stop thinking of the things that depress you. Hope this helps you in some way, please don't rely on the tabs too much. Just to let you know I now live back in Cambridge but enjoy a great relationship with my dad an we go to Palace in the Arthur quite regularly, his birthday present this yr from me was a ticket to the Lfc 3-3 game, it's CPFC that brings us close that's why I love Palace so much This would be better talking to you down the boozer with a pint, but I hope you pull out of it mate, as someone that's been there an come out of it, be it different causes, I know you can. Taking anything positive you do in everyday life helps too. All the best Stuart, message me when ever you like.
An Eagle since 1983 R.I.P staffie |
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Stuart Shave Hampshire 11 Jun 14 10.59pm | |
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Thanks Shane, that's an inspirational stroy. I'm determind that my son will never be without me and everything I do to get better will be for me and him. He's 3 and we dote on each other and it breaks my heart that we're not under the same roof right now. But he knows, his mum knows and I know that his Dad will be there whenever he needs me forever.
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jeeagles 11 Jun 14 11.22pm | |
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Stuart, I'm sure loads of other people on here have suffered with depression. Your mentioning it will make them realise they aren't alone. Don't listen to what anyone else has said about the past, you can't change that, and people having a moan at you don't know all the detail and are probably not perfect themselves. For everyone else: I've always thought that the term depression is misleading. sure supporting palace at some times in the past has been depressing, but when people feel down about it that's certainly not depression. although that's what most people associate depression as. Usually depression is cause by the brain not producing enough serotonin, which makes you happy. Without it your brain goes haywire and it's debilitating for people it happens to. It's not unlike having flu in that sense as it's an illness that knocks you for 6, but the difference is you can't produce the happy brain chemical which helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the past we had medical terms like imbecile and moron. We now don't use them (except when describing the Charlton Athletic board) as we know it's not a true description of people's disability. In the future I think we'll get a new name for depression as it just makes people miss understand the illness.
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shannegraney7 New Addo/St Ives cambs 11 Jun 14 11.26pm | |
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No worried Stu, I'm glad you found it inspirational, it's actually made me feel better by writing it on here as I don't share that story with too many but feel happy to share it with Palace fans, especially those in need of a bit of help. I just found this sign on Google too thought it'd be good for you Attachment: image.jpg (42.30Kb)
An Eagle since 1983 R.I.P staffie |
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jamiemartin721 Reading 11 Jun 14 11.31pm | |
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Quote Stuart Shave at 11 Jun 2014 10.30pm
Quote doi209 at 11 Jun 2014 10.28pm
Not an easy post, but well done for it. I'd go along with the exercise suggestion. If you can, go for a run. Endorphins are a natural painkiller and will give a 'runners high'. Force yourself to go for a run - you'll benefit. Thank you. Yes lots of walking, running and swimming is on the cards. Don't push it though, exerting yourself too much will deplete your energy. Enjoy it. The power of exercise is that it makes you feel better about your self. Sometimes it helps to take out the frustration though, especially if you're prone to worrying, it can be very cathartic to have a punch bag set up.
"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug" |
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jamiemartin721 Reading 11 Jun 14 11.35pm | |
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Quote eaglesdare at 11 Jun 2014 9.06pm
In my experience tablets make you even more depressed...i would advise to stay clear of any meds.....
Finding the right medication is more important. There is a vast array of anti-depressants. Without them, I'd have been f**ked, and still would be. Some people need them short term, some people like me need them forever, and some people can cope without. The trick is to find one that works, and stick with it, and follow your doctors advice. If you can get them to refer you for therapy, do so, and also get them to arrange psychiatric consults. Without the meds, I most certainly would have been dead by now. I used to be on really strong meds (venlfluxine, 4 a day) then Roboxtine (3 times a day), now years later I take one fluroxitine capsule a day (a mild anti-depressant).
"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug" |
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matthau South Croydon 11 Jun 14 11.37pm | |
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Ayahuasca is the answer. You tube it.
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