Jeremy Irons Michael Flatley :-)

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Cheesegate

A pheasant,a quail and a partridge were in a field dressed as clowns....
They were game for a laugh.

I know you are but what am I?

There was a English bloke, a Korean bloke and a Scottish bloke all working for the same building company.
At the start of the day the foreman comes out and says to the English bloke, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Scottish bloke, "You're in charge of the gravel."
Then he said to the Korean bloke, "You're in charge of the supplies."
"I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're sacked." The foreman said.
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the pile of cement and goes, "That'll do," to the English bloke.
Then he looks at the pile of gravel and says, "Not bad at all," to the Scottish bloke.
Having failed to notice the other worker he asks, "Where the hell is the Korean bloke?"
Suddenly, the Korean bloke jumps out from behind the big pile of cement and shouts, " SUPPLIES!"

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Two Welshmen chatting away in their local: "What's wrong Dewi? You don't look 'appy this morning."
"It's the bloody wife: she's blinkin' keeping me awake at night dreaming of this driving test she's going to be taking next week the cow. Every single night she grabs hold of my dick and shakes it around like a blinkin' gear stick. She nearly ripped my bell-end off the other day when she went into reverse."
"I've got a great idea Dewi. Next time she starts doing it, flip her over and stick it up her ringpiece -maybe that will stop her from doing it."
That night, Dewi feels his wife clenching his privates so does as his mate suggested, turns her over sticks it up her butt.
"£10 worth of unleaded, please." she says.

A man says to his mate, "I've been taking steroids and I've grown an extra cock!"

His mate says, "Anabolic?"

He replies, "No, just a cock"

whats the difference between arsenal and ledley king?

ledley king has beat someone this week.

whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law?

outlaws are wanted