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Heard It All Before... (LOCKED)

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Piper BROMLEY 04 Oct 11 12.51pm
True or false? Attachment: Advertisement....png (207.25Kb)
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Piper

BROMLEY 04 Oct 11 12.51pm

True or false?

Attachment: Advertisement....png (207.25Kb)

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SW2Eagle London 04 Oct 11 12.59pm
Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm True or false? I guess that, if your sex life entails w@nking in a bush down by the training ground, then smoking could prove quite dangerous - especially if it hasn't rained in a while. Other than that, everyone knows that smoking is cool and women literally throw themselves at you if you're holding a ciggie. Either way...true. The Three Twerps were one twerp short... again!
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SW2Eagle

London 04 Oct 11 12.59pm

Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm

True or false?

I guess that, if your sex life entails w@nking in a bush down by the training ground, then smoking could prove quite dangerous - especially if it hasn't rained in a while.

Other than that, everyone knows that smoking is cool and women literally throw themselves at you if you're holding a ciggie.

Either way...true.

The Three Twerps were one twerp short... again!

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Horley Eagle Somewhere only I know 04 Oct 11 3.08pm
Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm True or false? That reminds me of a joke that I'm sure you would never have heard of Piptrick. It goes like this: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke! Great isn't it? Pinch me, I'm dreaming, but if it is don't let me know.
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Horley Eagle

Somewhere only I know 04 Oct 11 3.08pm

Quote Piper at 04 Oct 2011 12.51pm

True or false?

That reminds me of a joke that I'm sure you would never have heard of Piptrick. It goes like this:

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to smoke!

Great isn't it?

Pinch me, I'm dreaming, but if it is don't let me know.

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Piper BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.07pm
your smile for the day...
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Piper

BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.07pm

your smile for the day...

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Piper BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.08pm
Your smile for the day... Attachment: SMILE....png (232.55Kb)
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Piper

BROMLEY 05 Oct 11 1.08pm

Your smile for the day...

Attachment: SMILE....png (232.55Kb)

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the despotic banana Dept. of Baboon Maintenance 05 Oct 11 1.12pm
I preferred your first post, Piper. Ask me about Ronald de Boer.
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the despotic banana

Dept. of Baboon Maintenance 05 Oct 11 1.12pm

Send a Private Message to the despotic banana

I preferred your first post, Piper.

Ask me about Ronald de Boer.

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Leecpfc Praying for love in a lapdance... 05 Oct 11 1.27pm
Pip-Pat is Jodie Marsh. Raised on a diet of broken biscuits
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Leecpfc

Praying for love in a lapdance... 05 Oct 11 1.27pm

Pip-Pat is Jodie Marsh.

Raised on a diet of broken biscuits

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crystal balls The Garden of Earthly Delights 06 Oct 11 8.33am
Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am LETTER FROM AMERICA... MATHS... We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government. Leaving 20 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing TERRORISTS ! Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.. Nice. Real nice. DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?! How was your holiday, Piper? Meet any nice Irish girls? I used to be immortal
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crystal balls

The Garden of Earthly Delights 06 Oct 11 8.33am

Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am

LETTER FROM AMERICA...

MATHS...

We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied
with killing TERRORISTS !

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes..

Nice. Real nice.

DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!

How was your holiday, Piper?

Meet any nice Irish girls?

I used to be immortal

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Piper BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.19pm
Quote crystal balls at 06 Oct 2011 8.33am Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am LETTER FROM AMERICA... MATHS... We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government. Leaving 20 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing TERRORISTS ! Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.. Nice. Real nice. DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?! How was your holiday, Piper? Meet any nice Irish girls? I haven't been yet, hope to go early in November.
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Piper

BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.19pm

Quote crystal balls at 06 Oct 2011 8.33am

Quote Piper at 01 Oct 2011 12.24am

LETTER FROM AMERICA...

MATHS...

We are in trouble... The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the Federal Government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied
with killing TERRORISTS !

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for State and City
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes..

Nice. Real nice.

DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!

How was your holiday, Piper?

Meet any nice Irish girls?

I haven't been yet, hope to go early in November.

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Piper BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.22pm
THE GIFT OF THE ALZHEIMER'S... At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new, but aged husband, may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one, all goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, - Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him: 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.' Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I've been in here already?' The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old; Alzheimer's can have advantages !
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Piper

BROMLEY 06 Oct 11 7.22pm

THE GIFT OF THE ALZHEIMER'S...

At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new, but aged husband, may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one, all goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger.
Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.
When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, - Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him:
'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.
You are truly a great lover, Roger.'

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
'You mean I've been in here already?'

The moral of the story:

Don't be afraid of getting old; Alzheimer's can have advantages !

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Piper BROMLEY 08 Oct 11 2.36pm
Reality and Fun... The two faces of China: From Shanghai, one of the most advanced cities in the world, to a market place, which would give headaches to any visiting Safety Officers.
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Piper

BROMLEY 08 Oct 11 2.36pm

Reality and Fun...

The two faces of China:

From Shanghai, one of the most advanced cities in the world,
to a market place, which would give headaches to any visiting Safety Officers.

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Moose In the sewer pipe... 10 Oct 11 10.22am
Quote Piper at 08 Oct 2011 2.36pm Reality and Fun... The two faces of China: From Shanghai, one of the most advanced cities in the world, to a market place, which would give headaches to any visiting Safety Officers. Quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever posted, Piper. Goodness is what you do. Not who you pray to.
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Moose

In the sewer pipe... 10 Oct 11 10.22am