Out
Campbell
Gayle (if the money is right £6m+)
Marriappa (for himself if he wants to play)

In
Striker - Charlie Austin or Loic Remy or Michy Batshuayi
Young Striker on Loan - Bamford (I joke). Kelechi Iheanacho?
Centre Back - Steven Caulker

E Block - Win, Lose or Draw it’s about having a good day out

Spot on

Hiddink reckons Remy is going nowhere.

============
The Ferret
============

For me:

Out
Gayle
Campbell
Mariappa
Ledley (because he needs to play somewhere with the Euros in mind and I don't think we need him and Jedi. I would be happy if this was a loan, though, and we took a long-term view in the summer)
McCarthy (loan, because he needs to play too and Speroni is better suited as a back-up)
Wild card: McArthur (no, I don't want to sell him but we have a traffic jam of midfielders and if someone offered really silly money, around 11m, then I would be persuaded to take it and invest it in a forward. We have more midfielders than we need and he is probably our most saleable asset for a high price.)

In
Two of Remi or Austin or Adebayor or Crouch
Caulker
Jimmy Kebe (we will need comic relief to alleviate the tension of fighting for the top 4 if we sign the above.)

Sydenham by birth. Selhurst by the Grace of God.

Out:
Macarthy (loan)
Fryers (perm)
Campbell (perm)
Paddy Mac (perm)
Joniesta (great little player but not what we need- perm)
Gayle (if we can get £8m plus for him and get two of the below strikers)

In
Remy (permanent but highly unlikely)
Austin (if we can't get Remy)
Crouch (loan or permanent- much more likely)
Friend (competition for Soare- class defender)
Caulker (if less than £6m or a loan with him playing for a permanent move)

'Impulse' advert- Advertising campaign whose slogan is expected to change in the light of Rajiv Gandhi's assassination: 'If someone you don't know suddenly offers you flowers- run like f***!'

A perfect January?

Throw a brick through the transfer window

Isnt that better?