Divorce advice

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Divorce advice

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Qwijibo Bournemouth 27 Apr 15 7.30pm
Quote Lyons550 at 27 Apr 2015 6.42pm Quote npn at 27 Apr 2015 4.56pm Thanks for that. The sad thing is she's already had a consultation with a solicitor, and is now coming back with all the stuff she believes she's entitled to (a very generous offer to sell both cars despite them both being in his name and her having no legal interest in them whatsoever, pay off the loans on them, and split the proceeds 50/50 with which to go and buy a car each was rejected on the grounds she'd end up with an older car than she has). She's also assuming she'll get the house and he will move out and find a place, and continue to pay the mortgage on 'her' place, as well as maintenance for the kids. Whilst I suspect that's sadly likely, it seems very unfair and, of course, without legal advice he only has her word for what was said by the solicitor, and what the legal standing is. I've suggested arbitration, but I don't know anyone who's done it so have no idea how it's likely to end up. My other half went through arbitration and found it useful...she still had to pay through the nose for solicitors fees £10k due the tooing and froing between the solicitors. It WILL save money but divorce is an expensive thing. I hear Jamie Martin's body disposal services offer exceptional value. Far more cost-effective than divorce.
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Qwijibo

Bournemouth 27 Apr 15 7.30pm

Quote Lyons550 at 27 Apr 2015 6.42pm

Quote npn at 27 Apr 2015 4.56pm

Thanks for that.

The sad thing is she's already had a consultation with a solicitor, and is now coming back with all the stuff she believes she's entitled to (a very generous offer to sell both cars despite them both being in his name and her having no legal interest in them whatsoever, pay off the loans on them, and split the proceeds 50/50 with which to go and buy a car each was rejected on the grounds she'd end up with an older car than she has).

She's also assuming she'll get the house and he will move out and find a place, and continue to pay the mortgage on 'her' place, as well as maintenance for the kids. Whilst I suspect that's sadly likely, it seems very unfair and, of course, without legal advice he only has her word for what was said by the solicitor, and what the legal standing is.

I've suggested arbitration, but I don't know anyone who's done it so have no idea how it's likely to end up.

My other half went through arbitration and found it useful...she still had to pay through the nose for solicitors fees £10k due the tooing and froing between the solicitors. It WILL save money but divorce is an expensive thing.

I hear Jamie Martin's body disposal services offer exceptional value. Far more cost-effective than divorce.

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legaleagle 27 Apr 15 7.50pm
The problem is that without a lawyer,you are definitely disadvantaged if she has one. You need first to understand the general picture. I suggest you go on amazon. They have quite a few "do it yourself" divorce books. ie [Link] or [Link] After you've read it,see if you can afford to see a solicitor for an hour or two,to talk through your options and strategy.Take along a note of all your and her assets.They'll often have a fairly good idea pretty quickly what the score is likely to be. Go for mediation (not arbitration).It costs (you have to both pay the mediator) but is worth it and far less expensive than both using lawyers.The mediator will most likely be a trained lawyer but their job won't be to take sides but to guide and encourage you both to hopefully reaching a sensible agreement,which the Court will endorse.Its done through the three of you meeting up. Try and explain to your ex,if you can,that all her using a lawyer is likely to do is deplete the joint pot,rather than her coming out with any major advantage. Keep a written note (made straight after) of all conversations with your ex about divorce/kids. Bear in mind,its irrelevant whose name assets are in.They all form part of a joint pot for divorce purposes. I wish you well..been through it...not pleasant Edited by legaleagle (27 Apr 2015 7.58pm)
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legaleagle

27 Apr 15 7.50pm

The problem is that without a lawyer,you are definitely disadvantaged if she has one.

You need first to understand the general picture.

I suggest you go on amazon. They have quite a few "do it yourself" divorce books.

[Link]

After you've read it,see if you can afford to see a solicitor for an hour or two,to talk through your options and strategy.Take along a note of all your and her assets.They'll often have a fairly good idea pretty quickly what the score is likely to be.

Go for mediation (not arbitration).It costs (you have to both pay the mediator) but is worth it and far less expensive than both using lawyers.The mediator will most likely be a trained lawyer but their job won't be to take sides but to guide and encourage you both to hopefully reaching a sensible agreement,which the Court will endorse.Its done through the three of you meeting up.

Try and explain to your ex,if you can,that all her using a lawyer is likely to do is deplete the joint pot,rather than her coming out with any major advantage.

Keep a written note (made straight after) of all conversations with your ex about divorce/kids.

Bear in mind,its irrelevant whose name assets are in.They all form part of a joint pot for divorce purposes.

I wish you well..been through it...not pleasant

Edited by legaleagle (27 Apr 2015 7.58pm)

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Jimenez SELHURSTPARKCHESTER,DA BRONX 27 Apr 15 8.18pm
I had a friend who owned both a newsagents and an old fashioned fishmongers (whatever happened to them?)and was going through a messy divorce. His wife wanted half of what it was worth so my friend sold his business to his Father for a pound and gave his (Ex) Mrs 50P....... Pro USA & Israel
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Jimenez

SELHURSTPARKCHESTER,DA BRONX 27 Apr 15 8.18pm

I had a friend who owned both a newsagents and an old fashioned fishmongers (whatever happened to them?)and was going through a messy divorce. His wife wanted half of what it was worth so my friend sold his business to his Father for a pound and gave his (Ex) Mrs 50P.......

Pro USA & Israel

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Pikester Worthing 27 Apr 15 9.33pm
From experience it seems quite often the bloke will want to keep it amicable but the woman will go to some mad-dog female solicitor who will suddenly put ideas in the woman's head such as going for half the pension and a whole bundle of stuff she was probably never fussed about to begin with. Sadly he'll get shafted cash wise and access-to-kids wise and once a few letters have gone back and forth the whole thing will be a war. She'll be wearing a mink coat and he'll be dressed as Superman climbing up London Bridge. Probably. You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.
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Pikester

Worthing 27 Apr 15 9.33pm

From experience it seems quite often the bloke will want to keep it amicable but the woman will go to some mad-dog female solicitor who will suddenly put ideas in the woman's head such as going for half the pension and a whole bundle of stuff she was probably never fussed about to begin with.

Sadly he'll get shafted cash wise and access-to-kids wise and once a few letters have gone back and forth the whole thing will be a war.

She'll be wearing a mink coat and he'll be dressed as Superman climbing up London Bridge. Probably.

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

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gambler Kent 27 Apr 15 9.56pm
Your friend doesn't have a flexible mortgage does he? I did. I moved all the equity in the house that i could get hold of into the linked current account, then withdrew via ATM it at a rate of £500 per day for a number of weeks (i was the only one earning and the only one with a clue about money) and "hid" all of the money. The flaw in this plan would be that someone would question where all the money had gone, my answer would have been that i'd had a breakdown caused by the divorce and spent it all gambling. Never had to find out whether that answer would have been acceptable as 1) My wife used a legal aid solicitor who did the bare minimum and never looked into any accounts, and 2) My ex being thick and lazy never bothered to look at the duplicate bank statements that i was required to provide her with Also the thick and lazy fool also turned to short term greed so she accepted an extra £10k cash from the now substantially reduced equity on the house in return for leaving alone my pension pot from which my solicitor estimated she was entitled to £60k from. A footnote to this which further explains what a cretin my ex was is that she didn't even realise that child maintenance stopped when a child left education, and had financed herself on the basis that child maintenance would last for life lol lol .
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gambler

Kent 27 Apr 15 9.56pm

Your friend doesn't have a flexible mortgage does he?

I did. I moved all the equity in the house that i could get hold of into the linked current account, then withdrew via ATM it at a rate of £500 per day for a number of weeks (i was the only one earning and the only one with a clue about money) and "hid" all of the money.

The flaw in this plan would be that someone would question where all the money had gone, my answer would have been that i'd had a breakdown caused by the divorce and spent it all gambling. Never had to find out whether that answer would have been acceptable as 1) My wife used a legal aid solicitor who did the bare minimum and never looked into any accounts, and 2) My ex being thick and lazy never bothered to look at the duplicate bank statements that i was required to provide her with

Also the thick and lazy fool also turned to short term greed so she accepted an extra £10k cash from the now substantially reduced equity on the house in return for leaving alone my pension pot from which my solicitor estimated she was entitled to £60k from.

A footnote to this which further explains what a cretin my ex was is that she didn't even realise that child maintenance stopped when a child left education, and had financed herself on the basis that child maintenance would last for life lol lol .

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Kermit8 Hevon 27 Apr 15 10.02pm
Thick and lazy cretinous fool with massive bazookas back in the day per chance? Big chest and massive boobs [Link]
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Kermit8

Hevon 27 Apr 15 10.02pm

Thick and lazy cretinous fool with massive bazookas back in the day per chance?

Big chest and massive boobs

[Link]

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Qwijibo Bournemouth 27 Apr 15 10.46pm
Quote gambler at 27 Apr 2015 9.56pm Your friend doesn't have a flexible mortgage does he? I did. I moved all the equity in the house that i could get hold of into the linked current account, then withdrew via ATM it at a rate of £500 per day for a number of weeks (i was the only one earning and the only one with a clue about money) and "hid" all of the money. The flaw in this plan would be that someone would question where all the money had gone, my answer would have been that i'd had a breakdown caused by the divorce and spent it all gambling. Never had to find out whether that answer would have been acceptable as 1) My wife used a legal aid solicitor who did the bare minimum and never looked into any accounts, and 2) My ex being thick and lazy never bothered to look at the duplicate bank statements that i was required to provide her with Also the thick and lazy fool also turned to short term greed so she accepted an extra £10k cash from the now substantially reduced equity on the house in return for leaving alone my pension pot from which my solicitor estimated she was entitled to £60k from. A footnote to this which further explains what a cretin my ex was is that she didn't even realise that child maintenance stopped when a child left education, and had financed herself on the basis that child maintenance would last for life lol lol . Your user name suddenly seems magnificent
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Qwijibo

Bournemouth 27 Apr 15 10.46pm

Quote gambler at 27 Apr 2015 9.56pm

Your friend doesn't have a flexible mortgage does he?

Your user name suddenly seems magnificent

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skatman 27 Apr 15 11.26pm
I'm never getting married.
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skatman

27 Apr 15 11.26pm

I'm never getting married.

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Seth On a pale blue dot 28 Apr 15 12.29am
Quote legaleagle at 27 Apr 2015 7.50pm The problem is that without a lawyer,you are definitely disadvantaged if she has one. You need first to understand the general picture. I suggest you go on amazon. They have quite a few "do it yourself" divorce books. ie [Link] or [Link] After you've read it,see if you can afford to see a solicitor for an hour or two,to talk through your options and strategy.Take along a note of all your and her assets.They'll often have a fairly good idea pretty quickly what the score is likely to be. Go for mediation (not arbitration).It costs (you have to both pay the mediator) but is worth it and far less expensive than both using lawyers.The mediator will most likely be a trained lawyer but their job won't be to take sides but to guide and encourage you both to hopefully reaching a sensible agreement,which the Court will endorse.Its done through the three of you meeting up. Try and explain to your ex,if you can,that all her using a lawyer is likely to do is deplete the joint pot,rather than her coming out with any major advantage. Keep a written note (made straight after) of all conversations with your ex about divorce/kids. Bear in mind,its irrelevant whose name assets are in.They all form part of a joint pot for divorce purposes. I wish you well..been through it...not pleasant What he said, apart from the last sentence. Not yet anyway. "You can feel the stadium jumping. The stadium is actually physically moving up and down" FA Cup MOTD 24/4/16
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Seth

On a pale blue dot 28 Apr 15 12.29am

Quote legaleagle at 27 Apr 2015 7.50pm

The problem is that without a lawyer,you are definitely disadvantaged if she has one.

You need first to understand the general picture.

I suggest you go on amazon. They have quite a few "do it yourself" divorce books.

[Link]

Try and explain to your ex,if you can,that all her using a lawyer is likely to do is deplete the joint pot,rather than her coming out with any major advantage.

Keep a written note (made straight after) of all conversations with your ex about divorce/kids.

Bear in mind,its irrelevant whose name assets are in.They all form part of a joint pot for divorce purposes.

I wish you well..been through it...not pleasant

What he said, apart from the last sentence. Not yet anyway.

"You can feel the stadium jumping. The stadium is actually physically moving up and down"
FA Cup MOTD 24/4/16

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johnny the eagle wivenhoe 28 Apr 15 12.54am
My ex old woman tried all kinds of angles to squeeze as much as she could out of me. I only got divorced from her last year and we were both in our 60s. She even did me for domestic abuse, which when it went to court was never even bought up or proved. You only have to speak to them in the wrong way for them to get it put in a court order according to my solicitor. Apparently women mostly claim this while going through divorce as a " tactic " to get legal aid. Anyway she did this and got legal aid. And all this sh1t about a 50/50 split is bollix too as she got 120 grand and I got 90 grand and I bought the fecking bungalow we lived in, in the first place. So be careful it's a minefield, bitter me what..... well not really cos the silly cow didn't realise that after she got paid out for her share of my bungalow she had to pay all that legal aid back. The divorce cost me 4 grand all in all, it was the best 4 grand I have ever spent getting rid of the silly cow. She did ring me up after I had vacated the bungalow asking me to pay 65 quid towards a skip to remove rubbish. You can imagine what I said to her very politely like, if it was 65 quid towards a coffin well............... Also I am not a violent man and there was no domestic abuse, but by christ I wish I was a violent man. Thinking back now a funny story really now it's all over, just be careful, or live in a council house don't get married and be a solicitor by profession. They charged me 200 quid an hour for one meeting, nice work if you can get it. If the op's solicitor is only charging 100 quid an hour grab him or her you could do hire one get one free. Good luck, hope it all works out for you. South London born and bred red and blue till im dead.
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johnny the eagle

wivenhoe 28 Apr 15 12.54am

Send a Private Message to johnny the eagle

My ex old woman tried all kinds of angles to squeeze as much as she could out of me. I only got divorced from her last year and we were both in our 60s. She even did me for domestic abuse, which when it went to court was never even bought up or proved. You only have to speak to them in the wrong way for them to get it put in a court order according to my solicitor. Apparently women mostly claim this while going through divorce as a " tactic " to get legal aid. Anyway she did this and got legal aid. And all this sh1t about a 50/50 split is bollix too as she got 120 grand and I got 90 grand and I bought the fecking bungalow we lived in, in the first place. So be careful it's a minefield, bitter me what..... well not really cos the silly cow didn't realise that after she got paid out for her share of my bungalow she had to pay all that legal aid back. The divorce cost me 4 grand all in all, it was the best 4 grand I have ever spent getting rid of the silly cow. She did ring me up after I had vacated the bungalow asking me to pay 65 quid towards a skip to remove rubbish. You can imagine what I said to her very politely like, if it was 65 quid towards a coffin well............... Also I am not a violent man and there was no domestic abuse, but by christ I wish I was a violent man. Thinking back now a funny story really now it's all over, just be careful, or live in a council house don't get married and be a solicitor by profession. They charged me 200 quid an hour for one meeting, nice work if you can get it. If the op's solicitor is only charging 100 quid an hour grab him or her you could do hire one get one free. Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

South London born and bred
red and blue till im dead.

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PalazioVecchio south pole 28 Apr 15 12.58am
divorce is the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. you will look back and think ''thank christ i got away from that bint'' Kayla did Anfield & Old Trafford
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PalazioVecchio

south pole 28 Apr 15 12.58am

Send a Private Message to PalazioVecchio

divorce is the caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

you will look back and think ''thank christ i got away from that bint''

Kayla did Anfield & Old Trafford

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gambler Kent 28 Apr 15 6.34am
Quote PalazioVecchio at 28 Apr 2015 12.58am divorce is the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. you will look back and think ''thank christ i got away from that bint'' Ha ha ha my feelings exactly!
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gambler

Kent 28 Apr 15 6.34am

Quote PalazioVecchio at 28 Apr 2015 12.58am

divorce is the caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

you will look back and think ''thank christ i got away from that bint''

Ha ha ha my feelings exactly!

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