Thank you. I'm not proud of anything I did. I know I did it with a heavy heart and did not think of just myself as a previous poster said. I still think about it now and always have done, hence my condition now. I was weak and flattered on both occasions and I couldn't help the feelings that developed. I wish I had been strong enough to walk away. I wasn't and I'm suffering the consequences now if it makes some of you feel better. Mistakes and wrong decisons are made in everyday life.
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Mate.
There was no 'heavy heart' just a heavily loaded p****! I don't believe you were 'weak' tbh, you were up for it and sod the consequences.
The consequences you now face are due to YOU doing wrong.

I hope you learn from your mistakes................but equally I expect a similar post before the year is out.
No-one here can change you, only you can.

All the best either way.

One day at a time dude, be there for the kids, be a good dad and over time it will get better. There is no quick fix nothing will change over night. Alcohol is no no it will make you dwell and don't be reminiscing about stuff that could of been differently. What's done is done. As I said be a good dad and life will get better you'll have to lump the part time dad thing I'm afraid but just remember nothing is ever as bad as its seems, nothing. Your a dad, you have something amazing that some people will never have. Don't mess that up too! Good luck dude.

TUX, f*** off. He's done wrong, he's admitted that, he knows that. He's clearly feeling like s*** and not seeing his son as much as he wants and missing him like mad.

He's down and asking for help, what's the point in being a total sick and sticking the boot in?

Stuart,

Ignore those who just want to make points against you. Like another poster said, few of us have had blameless lives.

Its really good that you came on here and poured things out, That takes real guts. Its half the cure;. recognising the issue and confronting it.Next time you see the doctor, ask them about getting some cognitive therapy.

Its about learning how and why you fall into certain behaviour patters and dealing with triggers differently in the future.

Tabs are fine as a thing to "stabilise the ship". The thing then is to be positive and remember, you're half way there already by facing up to having depression...then move on the future, without it or at least living with it successfully.

Lots of high achievers had had to get to grips with it. Winston Churchill used to suffer, and no one could say it stopped him doing some positive things.

Somethings in common in your history - women & redundancy.

Women cause all kinds of grief. I suffer depression myself and the worst bouts are when there's women involved.

Take time out from the ladies, exercise plenty as it clears the stresses, find a job for a large company as job security is important and spend time with your friends without talking about being depressed. And smashing their birds. That annoys them.

Thanks Legaleagle, some sound advice. I found out about MIND tonight and have it on my list to call them tomorrow.

Southampton Eagle, thanks also. Yes they do seem to cause us men all sorts of bother. And thanks for making me laugh with your last paragraph.