Byker Gove
Knockabout children's drama sees the haddock-faced Education Secretary don some ill-advised leathers and mounting a Harley-Davidson before visiting a youth centre in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, which he then proceeds to close down under the auspices of budget deficit tackledom. Eagle-eyed viewers will spot Ant and Dec, dressed as children, spit-roasting Donna Air.

Edited by morganistic (11 Sep 2011 11.51pm)

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

Pickles House on the Prairie

Pa Ingalls is shocked when fat loudmouth professional northern Tory Eric moves into Walnut Grove as its mayor and immediately begins a series of dramatic cuts which threaten the schoolhouse and town brothel.

As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

COME DOWN WITH ME

Pete Doherty, Bez, Richard Bacon and Kerry Katona spend an evening being plied with narcotics before spending the next day locked in a brightly lit room and forced to listen to a recording of 'All by Myself' played on a continuous loop while host Graham Norton sits in the corner giggling like a ponce and goading the fragile contestants. The last person to break down in tears and beg Norton to run down to Londis and pick them up a 1kg bar of Dairy Milk is the winner and wins £1000 worth of methadone.

Edited by Raven (17 Sep 2011 9.11pm)

Juan Blew Over the Hookers' Breasts

A compilation of 1980's Spanish p*** legend Juan Casas spurting copious gobs of jism over tarty tits.

We are the goon squad and we're going to town. Beep Beep!

celebrity skid mark all contestants eat unhealthy food for a weekend and a poor member of the public has to inspect each pan and guess.

Out Of The Mouths of Babes
In-depth look at the various expulsions and emissions which seep through the lips of beautiful women. Tonight, Maria Whittaker brings up a chocolate mousse in the toilets of a West End restaurant in a desperate bid to stay slim, but later valiantly swallows one-tenth of a litre of warm semen, with just a meagre half a teaspoon dripping down her chin.

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''