And Burnley.

Turfmoor , anyone ?

I disengage, I turn the page.

The Ripper did have a lovely full head of hair and did seem well-groomed. Can't fault him for that.

I disengage, I turn the page.

LETTER FROM JAPAN.

Hotel Service ...

An English salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo.

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'

Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Five feet away was another machine with a sign that read, - 'Manicures, $20.00'.

'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, - 50 Cents.'

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.

When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit,

which now had a button sewn neatly on the end...

LETTER FROM AMERICA...

Why are Whites racists and no other race is?

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc.

And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction, BECAUSE I’M WHITE.

You call me 'White boy', 'Cracker', 'Honkey', 'Whitey', 'Caveman' - and
that's OK...

But if I call you, ******, Kike, Towel head, Beaner, Gook, or Chink, - you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you...
So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund.

You have Martin Luther King Day.

You have Black History Month.

You have Cesar Chavez Day.

You have Yom Hashoah.

You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.

You have the NAACP.

If we had a White Pride Day, - you would call us racists.

If we had White History Month, - we'd be racists.

If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives, - we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.

Who pays for that?

A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color
can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... - You know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US ... yet if
there was a 'White college', that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights, - you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.

But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, car jack us, and shoot at us.

But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, - you call him a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

WHY CAN’T WE BE PROUD TO BE WHITE?

It's not a crime YET... but getting very close!

Unbecumtingleivable

HISTORY ARCHIVE...

So why did the English wear red coats in battle?

In 1795, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, the French captured an English colonel.
They took him to their headquarters and a French general began to question him.

Finally as an afterthought, the French general asked: -

"Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the officer informed the general that the reason
English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot,
the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And, - for some reason, - from that day to this,
all French Army officers wear brown trousers...