Well that's killed the thread good & proper. Anyone else got any good stories to contribute?

That's just the ramblings of a madman

The details of this story were relayed to me after the event.
10 years ago, me and a group of male friends were on a weekend in Amsterdam. One particular guy (Gary) always got completely hammered and never lasted a whole evening.

We go to the red light district and Gary is well-lubricated. He decides he is going to go with a lady and prompty taps on a wiindow and the door is closed behind hiim and the curtains pulled shut.
We catch up with Gary the next morning and he relays the details.
Once inside the booth he hands over £40 (100 Euros), lies on the bed and promptly falls asleep, fully clothed. After 15 minutes of shouting at Gary and shaking him the lady eventually wakes him up and asks him to leave, but Gary wants his money back.

The woman doesn't do refunds and an argument ensues. Gary forces the issue by opening the curtains to the street and commencing a striptease in the womans shop window. Gary is a fat ginger, and certainly no looker.

He got his money back after getting to his pants.

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (25 May 2010 9:01am)

I disengage, I turn the page.

Less to do with your ardour but more to do with your odour.....and ugliness no doubt!

I know you are but what am I?

As one whose demeanour is,...quite demeaning, it is no wonder that your loins have been as barron and unoccupied as the Sahara for so long.

I'm going to raffle your coat at the HOL meet and we'll see your success-rate with women improve markedly.
Help the Heroes can also look forward to perhaps another 50p then.

I disengage, I turn the page.

Not really a failure.

I went to the British Motorbike GP at Donington in 1990 with a very nice young lady. We arrived on my 750 Honda, parked in a secluded part of the camping field, pitched the tent and got down to business in the in the tent in the missionary position.

2 minutes later i had shot my load. However, i became aware of some laughter behind me and looked over my shoulder to see i had forgotten to shut the tent flaps and there was a truck full of blokes witnessing my efficient performance.

I saved the girl embarassment, buy not removing her hood and cuffs until i had ensured the tent was well and truly shut.

I disengage, I turn the page.

Brighton. Last night. Some bar in the Lanes. So I'd finished in the toilet, paid the freshen up man for some gum, walked up to a girl and started talking to her and it was going swimmingly well.

20 minutes later, her friend announced to me and her that my flies had been undone the whole time. Not sure my mate's comment of "well, it's easier access for later" impressed her too much, either. Conversation broke off and she "had to catch up with the rest of her friends".

Smooth, Matty, smooth.

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