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Banned football songs (tounge in cheek)

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Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 30 Mar 17 11.00am Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Official Club Announcement -

Dear Supporter, following on from yesterday's announcement of the banning of the "Chelsea Rent Boy" song on homophobia grounds, Maureen the Fan Liaison Officer has now reviewed all songs currently sung & has decided the following action

1) "We're the Pride of All Europe" - banned due to BREXIT
2) "My old man said be a City fan" - banned as it is Sexist as no mention of "my old dear"
3) "Build a Bonfire" - banned as promotes arson
4) "The Council House is never full" - banned as discriminates against people living in council houses
5) "It was back in 77" - banned under agesism as unfair against any fan under 40
6) "We love United we do" - banned under the 2008 Equality Act as discriminates against the other 91 league clubs
7) "We will fight fight fight for United" - banned as promotes violence
"If I had the wings of a swallow, if I had the arse of a cow" - banned due to animal rights
9) "When I die and they lay me to rest" - banned as promotes drinking and mentioning death will scare our younger fans
10) "Fergie was right, the refs are s***e" - banned as fails to mention linesman

Many thanks for your continuing support and enjoy sitting in silence on Saturday

Yours Faithfully,

Isaac Hunt.
Head Steward

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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Hoof Hearted 30 Mar 17 1.10pm

The Celery Song (..if she won't come I'll tickle her up the bum, with a stick of celery!... celery, celery)

Nelly The Elephant (Stevie Bruce packed his bags and said goodbye to the Palace... off he went with a trumpety trump..... Cnut Cnut Cnut)

 

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Part Time James Flag 30 Mar 17 1.13pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

"Brighton take it up the bum" banned as a heterosexual man just moved there.

 




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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 30 Mar 17 1.21pm


"One man went to war, went to war with Brighton' as this turned out to be in violation of the Geneva Convention on warfare and said man has been delivered to the Hague to await trial.

"Bring on the Brighton, Millwall Scum" banned following a successful case of slander by the 'Algee and Pond Life Defence League'.

The Wheels on your house go round and round - on the basis that there appears that all Charlton Fans everywhere have s**t the f**k up.

"We are South London's Number One" - Ambiguity, given that Charlton are South London's number one 'egg faced c**ts'. Sha-la-la-la c**ts.

 


"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

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Part Time James Flag 30 Mar 17 1.22pm Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

"Glad All Over" banned because people are sometimes unable to feel gladness below the waist due to birth defects.

 




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Yellow Card - User has been warned of conduct on the messageboards Hrolf The Ganger Flag 30 Mar 17 2.02pm Send a Private Message to Hrolf The Ganger Add Hrolf The Ganger as a friend

You only sing when your winning.

No, we don't have winners and losers. Everyone gets a sticker.

Your going home in a London Ambulance.

No, that would be a terrible misappropriation of resources with the NHS under such financial pressure.

 

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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 30 Mar 17 2.04pm

Originally posted by Hrolf The Ganger

You only sing when your winning.

No, we don't have winners and losers. Everyone gets a sticker.

Your going home in a London Ambulance.

No, that would be a terrible misappropriation of resources with the NHS under such financial pressure.

I wish teams would sing that at us more often.

Everyone on the pitch is a winner, at between 35-200k a week, how could they not be.

 


"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 30 Mar 17 2.06pm

Originally posted by Part Time James

"Glad All Over" banned because people are sometimes unable to feel gladness below the waist due to birth defects.

Also following complaints from the CPS, as it refers to an on going case brought by Gladys Knight.

 


"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

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Yellow Card - User has been warned of conduct on the messageboards Hrolf The Ganger Flag 30 Mar 17 2.19pm Send a Private Message to Hrolf The Ganger Add Hrolf The Ganger as a friend

Originally posted by jamiemartin721

I wish teams would sing that at us more often.

Everyone on the pitch is a winner, at between 35-200k a week, how could they not be.

Yes, probably the only example of foreigners pushing up wages...and season ticket prices.

We lose again.

 

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becky Flag over the moon 30 Mar 17 2.20pm Send a Private Message to becky Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add becky as a friend

"The famous Alan Mullery went to Rome to see the Pope" - this is now banned as are all songs/chants involving religion as this may offend those of other faiths or none.

 


A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 30 Mar 17 2.24pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

When I was a young boy...
Sexist to female supporters, discriminates against those from fatherless households

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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bubble wrap Flag Carparks in South East London 30 Mar 17 2.26pm

The Referee's a w***er,
And Whose the w***er in the black

both banned, offensive to w***ers

 

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