I played in the Dockyard League in Portsmouth when I was 18. A goalkeeper bit my ear and told me if I went near him again he'd bite it off. I went for an open trial at Bognor thinking I might have a chance only to find about 300 young lads fancying their chances. Anyone who has played football at any level knows how hard it is even to make it at semi-pro level. I remember playing at one non-league ground and finding out in their programme that I would be marking a player who had just come back from a three-month suspension for assaulting an opponent. I'm sure it's changed now and there's fewer mass brawls and less violence.

Here in Gozo they have paid and unpaid players in their league. The standard isn't much above decent Sunday League level, but some of the games get quite tasty and the rivalry with fans can descend into violence. Bolasie actually played in Malta for a bit, but I don't think he ever made it over to Gozo.

He did a little video a while back where he re-visited Floriana's ground. Maybe he had a word in Puncheon's ear about the benefits of playing on a Mediterranean island and that's why Punch ended up in Cyprus.