I was reminded of my adolescence the other day whilst channel hopping - had to do a double take on an underwear commercial, all very tight lycra from just below the navel down to the upper thigh with the material cut to emphasise the pouch area - I didn't dwell on that channel just to reassure some of you doubters. But it reminded me of getting hold of copies of Whitehouse and Rustler back in the day - there was those ads for vacuum developers (never considered buying one, of course) but I wonder if anyone remembers 'The Bulger'? The tag line went something like 'she'll be thinking of her opening line before she's looked into your eyes if you put these on' or words to that effect, thanks to the flattering effect of this 'special thrust undergear'. I didn't buy those either. Without incriminating yourselves does anybody remember similar ads - blow up dolls, willy warmers and such like - might be amusing to hear a few examples.

Funnily enough I do remember seeing willie warmers ex hib. Not through any practical experience you understand, purely from the description. Why would you need, or even want one I pondered?

In those long gone days I couldn't possibly conceive of a valid reason. Now however, maybe, just maybe.

Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

Especially when a night on the Stella has the same effect.

Don’t know but if I run into Stella again I’ll ask her.

When I was about 18 (a very, very long time ago) a pal told me about a friend of his who had tried one of these products. His old man, he told me, was really sore the next day. I am very reluctant to admit to my naivety, but my puzzled reply was, "Why was his dad so angry?" Blimey, no wonder I was a slow starter.

But we've all gone and had two injections of a vaccine that's a hope.
If I could've had a cream rub on my bell end instead I'm first