A true gentleman is a man who may know how to play the bagpipes – but doesn’t.

If they ask you to toast the haggis here is one straight from Rabbie himself:

After mah haggis ye may hanker
Yer knicker bocker glory w*nker
So feast yer sen on neeps 'n' tatties
Nay tandoori chicken, kebabs ergh patties
Fer Andy Stewart ye canny wackrham
Nay Graeme Souness ner Gordon Strachan.

Dumfries & Galloway c. 1723

As Mrs Moose is a sweaty sock, we have Burns Night every year. Matt, you need to learn Rabbie Burns' Ode to a Haggis and to recite it in tones most Scottish. Also don't forget to pass round the quaich (sp?) with a good malt whisky therein afterwards. If you don't have the foulest hangover tomorrow you haven't done it properly. Good luck "the noo".

Goodness is what you do. Not who you pray to.