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Guide to transfer "news"
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chateauferret  11 Jul 16 10.05pm |
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"According to reports" Translation: A bunch of us journos got together and made up this pile of horses*** so that you would click on our websites. "Close to announcing the signing of ..." Translation: Please keep coming back to our website and generating advertising revenue for us for a few days, after which this particular bulls*** will vanish like the morning mist. "(Club) is eyeing some player" Translation: Here's a player I want to publish bulls*** "articles" about. "A number of clubs are tracking this player" Translation: Here are a few clubs I want to publish bulls*** "articles" about. "Has agreed personal terms" Translation: Wants more clubs to make offers for him, especially if they happen to be qualified for the Champions' League. "Has triggered the release clause for this player" Translation: Is being used by some other club to prise this player away from his present employer. "Going nowhere" "Club record fee" Translation: King's ransom. "Desparate to leave" Translation: Desperate to play in the Champions' League. "Looking to sell" Translation: Boracic. "Does not feature in his plans" Translation: Was told to f*** off. "Playmaker" Translation: Midfielder who thinks the Sun shines out of his arse. "Rumoured interest" Translation: We were so short of material that we ended up trawling club web fora for idle speculations that we can dress up as facts. "Speculation" Translation: Bulls***. "Free agent" Translation: As popular as a sh!teheap in a semiconductor plant. "Target" Translation: Player out of their league but worth a bulls*** "article" or two anyway. "Imminent" Translation: Please read this bulls*** regularly at least for another day or two. "Gossip" Translation: Bollocks.
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 HeathMan  Purley 11 Jul 16 10.48pm |
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Thank you for providing the examples of journalistic jargon. I can imagine that they also have a good knowledge of rose growing
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| MrCParrot Taunton 11 Jul 16 10.49pm |
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ha ha love it You missed 'whisper' Parrot
Mr Cadbury's Parrot says "Hello" |
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| chateauferret 12 Jul 16 12.39am |
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"To play down a rumour" Translation: To try and weasel better offers out of bigger clubs by pretending that a putative buyer has lost interest. "London outfit", "South London outfit" Translation: Crystal Palace. "To want first-team football" Translation: To think you are too good to have to compete for your selection. "To catch the eye" (v. irreg. "I catch the eye", "You promote yourself", "He is full of s***" ) Translation: To generate bulls*** news "articles" about oneself in the hope of attracting a lucrative transfer. "Unimpressive" Translation: Sh!te. "Sources" Translation: Fans. "Inside information" See Gossip, above. "Linked with" Translation: Not connected with in any way except in my imagination. See rumour, above. "Fight for one's place" Translation: Do anything possible to make a s***load of cash without actually playing professional football.
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crvenaeagle  12 Jul 16 5.40am |
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"£100 million swoop for Spanish powerhouse!" Translation: Selling players to make funds, potentially buying Spanish youngster on a 5-year deal, plus all fees and wages exchanged in that 5 year period = exaggerated projected sum for all money exchanged. More likely £65m. Signing fee of youngster actually £12m. Oh and if you see a picture of Higuain with the headline of "Premier League team in shock deal for THIS Serie A star" the article is actually going to be about Hull getting Guiseppe A, Commonini on loan, with a paragraph at the bottom about how Higuain is going nowhere despite Wenger saying he likes him a few years ago. Edited by crvenaeagle (12 Jul 2016 5.43am) Edited by crvenaeagle (12 Jul 2016 5.45am)
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| chateauferret 12 Jul 16 8.02pm |
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"Shock transfer" Translation: F*** me, didn't see that one coming. "Suspect" (v. irreg. "I suspect", "You are guessing", "He is talking out of his arse" ) Translation: To print the first bulls*** that comes into one's head.
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