It's your boyfriend, recovering from a collective gang rape by the whole HOL radio team, quivering while trying desperately not to look at his face in any reflective object and crying as he realises he will have to sell your house and kill his parents for their inheritance in order to raise the money needed to fund his extensive therapy.

Hope this helps.

If punk ever happened I'd be preaching the law, instead of listenin to Lydon lecture BBC4