Every time I'm at some tawdry function or training day and there's a selection of cheeses I always trot out my boring opinion thus: "the county of Leicestershire is responsible for two cheeses each of primary colour - the blue Stilton, quite possibly the finest cheese of its type, and Leicester Red which may be the worst cheese there is." It's always a sweaty luke warm lump of blandness usually alone on a pleated paper plate with maybe a few crisps lurking nearby. I've had some nasty value cheese spreads whose pungent taste reminds one of poor hygene in either the sock or y-front regions, and pineapple in cottage cheese or made up ones like Limeswold or Cracker Barrel (advertised by Harvey 'two fingers' Smith for thosde of you old enough to remember) may compete. I look forward to your tales of cheesy unpleasantness, but I stand four square in my judgement that Leicester Red is the worst and naffest cheese in existence (this will be my last food thread - I promise). Is there a worse cheese? If so then kindly forewarn us with your anecdotes of cheese. [Link]

Edam. Like chewing into a piece of rubber. With less flavour.

ANY Cheese labelled 'Mild'

I mean, whats the effin' point in mild cheese?

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I don't like any of those ones with blue veins. Reminds me of old ladies legs.

Venezuelan Beaver cheese.

Camembert;

It's a bit runny...
I don't care how f#cking runny it is, bring forth hither le fromage de la belle France.

Seriously only way to eat it is to heat whole round in oven, then flambé it in Calvados , either that or leave it on the cheese shop shelf.

... What a senseless waste of human life..