I can imagine Michaela in an adult nappy

Funny how your memory blocks things until you are reminded of a similar occurrence.
Must have been 25 years or so ago, went on an all day Beano with a couple of guys from work at the time, met up in London at 11am for opening hours. Did 4 or 5 pubs then went to China town for a full on meal, duck, mussels in black bean sauce, chilli beef the works. Then did another 5 or 6 pubs on the way back to Norwood as one of the guys lived there.
Ended up in the Cherry Trees and having a laugh and joke at the bar, thought I was just releasing some wind but boy was I wrong.....complete trouser explosion and a quick (rather long) visit to the toilet followed to clean myself up and then an even longer soggy walk back to Croydon.
Not me (honestly) but another guy I worked with often told a story of when he went out one night on the lash and had a ruby with his mates, woke up at 3am with stomach pains and tried to release some gas, ended up leaving a torrent of brown liquid akin to emptying an old radiator all over his Mrs!
To the best of my knowledge they are still married.

I sincerely doubt you've only just arrived at this conclusion. Especially after all those private messages and balls of hair I've sent you.