No.. he s***s as he goes... he s***s as he goes!!!

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When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

thank you for the Paula Radcliffe helicopter, and as a reward I will confess that now in my 50s one or two muscles are not quite as resilient as they oncde were, and one such fairly recent incident did occur on the seafront at Hastings and this is true - I was wearing brown jeans, had to do an ankle shake next to a garden wall while there was a pedestrian gap (about the size of half a golf ball it was, knew I was in trouble moments before, was 5 min + away from nearest bog or home, hoped it was a fart, but alas ... And guess what there was absolutely NO imaginary commentary whatsoever going on in my head during this deeply unpleasant episode.

you're sadly correct, that was part of my thinking, there are so many Jeremy Kylers who let their killer dogs crap all over the pavement mine would have blended in seamlessly, if you pardon the expression.

Wasn't st Leonard's was it. That's even worse

When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

The phrase 'squeaky bum time' gets bandied about very casually these days, no laughing matter when squeaky bum time actually rears its ugly head (or bottom to be precise) I can tell you.

apologies for being self-indulgent once too often perhaps, but I have just been watching Riverdance on the X-Factor and it brought back terrible memories.