I always loved the transpenine express - a story of long ago and far away service......

I was stuck at Newton-Le-Willows station, having just missed the 'proper' train due to a meeting over-running. I desperately had to get into Manchester for an evening engagement, so the porter very kindly explained that he would turn the signal at the end of the platform to red, making the TP express slow down, but that under no circumstances could he allow it to stop..... 'cos it was an express!.

The train duly slowed, and just before it came to a halt I had to wrench the door open whilst running alongside and throw myself into the train - as soon as the door was shut, the porter turned the signal to green and off the train went merrily on to Manchester.

I thought it might take a lot of explaining when I got there as my ticket clearly said N-le-W, but the ticket collector merely smiled and said "I see Derek's up to his tricks again"

If it happened today? A public inquiry, 14 HSE officials having a heart attack and I'd probably have got a lifetime ban and 6 months community service