As she undid her union jack bra and took off her bulldog panties, he entered her and before long was furiously slamming his brexit bollocks against her naked body.
"This one's for england" he said
"Not the football team, I mean the country as a whole" he clarified, short of breath.

Edited by blackpalacefan (29 Nov 2016 2.51pm)

"Mrs Goggins", Postman Pat began, but before he could spit out his words of surprise she had stuffed his cartoon mouth with her crispy worn undergarments.
"Now post me your letters you creepy cat loving postal worker". Pat found his lengthy member betraying his sense of fear by engorging rapidly and unzipping his fly for him without assistance. As he inserted his bulbous glans into her elderly crease there was a popping sound rather like a champagne cork being ejaculated into an empty cathedral. Who knew Mrs Goggins was such a deviant? She rode Pat so hard his glasses fogged up and his hat fell from his head. Jess the cat was mooching outside the post office but sensed that Pat was in distress and carried on busily eating grass to make the noises go away. Goggins wiped a bead of sweat from her nose as she felt consumed by the sensation in her swollen clitoris. She came hard, falling back away from his tumescence. They both launched their fluids together much like a fountain of glue and fruit juice, Pat's tallywhacker vibrating as it showered the room with hot sticky product. Some of the villagers subsequently complained that their parcels arrived a day late and decided it might be an idea to use a different service such as UK Mail or TNT to distribute their mail in future.

Give her your large packet and record the delivery so we can all track it?

Well she probably wouldn't appreciate it if you gave her two bulging sackfuls. Perhaps offer her a walk sort. (That doesn't even make sense but it sounded vaguely saucy!)

I think he might try to attract her attention by firmly rapping at her knocker.

Do you leave your load in a safe place if it won't fit through the letterbox ;-)

When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC